Monday.. Monday... Monday

I am glad we are starting another week... one more week closer to being with my Soldier on R&R.  Tomorrow is my back to working out day.  I will be back at Kickboxing 3 days a week, then my MMA classes twice a week.  My sexy ass husband has lost like 50lbs and here I am having gained like 15lbs... YUCK
I can not believe that I have gained the weight since he left... I mean REALLY. Is taking care of our daughter, working, volunteering and keeping stuff in order NOT enough ... NOW I have to lose weight too?  Its CRAP.
ok... tomorrow morning it starts.  No excuses.  I need to lose this 15lbs and about 3 inches.  MUFFIN TOP is NOT a good look for me! 

Ahhh. MUCH BETTER

Yesterday was a super quiet day after all.  I got a lot done and even had time to write in my book.  I love writing!  I was able to channel my frustration a bit and get to the root of it all.  It's all because BD is my biggest fan and always has been... well with him out of the loop I have had to do it by myself.  Well, usually I would be ok but when I question myself on anything I can't just call him and say "fix it and tell me I am great" like I would if he were here.  Oh well... we are more than half way through this and I just had my first freak out... not to bad if I must say. 
Today I get to go play dress up at a luncheon for the Governor of California's Volunteerism Awards... FUN! 

HAPPY SUNDAY!

Crappy Day!

So... I try to be super positive all the time and for the most part it's true.  I am a pretty happy person and know that I have so much to live for and am super blessed.  In my life I have lived through things that no one should have to and come out knowing there was a reason for it all.  Well... with that being said this week has just sucked!

 - I hate my stupid job with temps that don't actually work.  I mean this girl wears whatever she wants (she has worn scrubs, she has worn flip flops, even walked around in just SOCKS... in a business casual environment) , she comes and goes as she pleases even though she was told her hours were 7:30 to 4 and on Friday she came in at 7:30 took an hour lunch and then left at 3:50.  I am so irritated with her I could SCREAM.  On top of it all she is trying to throw another temp under the bus for really no good reason but being all friendly to her face.  I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT!  Have a set and grow up!  Why should I bust my butt to do a great job if you dont and no one seems to care.

- I have a huge event next weekend in Vegas that I want to be perfect and it's stressing me out.  I am on the board of an organization that has an initiative called Project Gratitude.  Project Gratitude is taking 8 families who have lost their hather/husband in the war, to the Miss America pageant in Las Vegas.  I am in charge of gift bag.... I want them to be AMAZING!  We aren't there yet... I know we will be but just not yet.

- On top of these two MAJOR things  Diva is struggling in school, my grandma is needing help and there is no one that can/wants to help her... I feel the weight of the world on me. 

So today I totally snapped!  I yelled at BD via skype, crying (tears and snot!) and the whole nine about how much I hate this deployment, I hate the Army and I just basically... well hate everything around me.  I wanted him to tell me it was ok... well thats not what heppened.  Instead he got all pissy and defensive and then I got worse... oh and skype wasn't working at all so we were typing our frustrations.... GREAT.  what an EFFING disaster. 

We got past it all before we hung up... basically he felt like the changes that I made (ie. new puppy, haircut, new bedroom color and potentially new car) were going to equate with me not wanting HIM anymore.  Sorry BD, you are stuck with me forever.... and possibly afterlife if you believe that much.  I have waited far to long for a man to deal with my morning sneezes, my narcolepsy, my messyiness and my want to save the world to let you go... DEAL WITH IT! 

Jeez... what is it about that stupid desert that makes him go crazy.  GOOD GRIEF!

TGIF!

Friday… my favorite day of the week.  I love to look back and the rest of the week with my tongue out screaming NEE NER NEE NER NEE NER!

This Friday is no different.  It’s been a crappy week… LONG crappy week.  BD has been on a mission the last few days which has seriously impaired our communication.  Sometimes I think I forget he is in a war zone because we get to IM daily and share emails.  This week was also another one that I didn’t get my lazy ass back to the gym.  I pay for Kickboxing and MMA classes and yet I don’t go.  SO FRUSTRATING!  Monday… all crap cleaned out of the cupboards, only good and healthy food and I will lose the 15lbs I have gained and hopefully 3 or 4 inches and be happy before R&R!  I swear BD has lost almost 50lbs since he left and I have found some of it for him… I am not a happy wife about that.  I don’t like being soft.  I guess I figure no one sees me naked so it doesn’t matter.  Well… soon enough my white butt will be strutting around my bedroom to Adam Lambert and praying that NOTHING is jiggling or our of place~

Diva’s birthday is during R&R so she has decided that she wants a birthday party… a Cotton Candy birthday party.  Luckily I have a few months to plan this themed party.  A little bit at a time.  We will rent out the clubhouse at our complex and transform it into Candyland.  I am actually a little excited at the prospect of planning.  Haha. 

Here is to another week down and another one closer to R&R!

Backtalk and Sass

Not my Diva... but this was her mood!

Last night I watched my girlfriends little girl overnight.  What an experience.  Diva has a pretty strict schedule daily, I have to or I go crazy, we have it timed pretty perfectly to end up with couch/reading time at 7:15.  Well… last night threw my entire schedule OUT THE WINDOW.  These two little rugrats were doing homework until 8, and then off to bed they went.  Diva’s friend doesn’t really have a bedtime so I wasn’t sure how this was all going to work but she asked to go to bed at the same time.  NICE!  HAHA, yeah.  I kissed them both and tucked them in, asked them to keep the giggling to a low roar and get some sleep.  I was pretty proud of myself thinking that I had the magic kid touch.  So I get all nestled on the couch, Glee on and the laptop ready to go… and here comes Diva’s friend.  “My owie hurts.” ** Side note, she cut her finger on the seatbelt in my car somehow** Well sweetie go back to bed and it will be all better in the morning.  Ok, back to typing…. And I hear the door again.  Umm, it still hurts.  Well, you haven’t slept yet so of course it does.  Back to bed she goes.  Diva still hasn’t made her appearance so I am just waiting.  A few more door clicks later it gets quiet.  YIPPEE… both asleep by 9!  WRONG again… 9:55 Diva makes her grand appearance.  With this little grin on her face, that makes me know full well that she is intending on asking something big.  She is too hot for her footed jammies that she just HAD to wear and wants to change into something more weather appropriate (REALLY, weather appropriate, what are they teaching her in school!).  Looking at her face I knew full well that she NEVER fell asleep… GREAT morning is going to SUCK! Back to bed she went with my best parenting advice… then don’t cover yourself up with 3 blankets!  Finally I thought I had won… I may have threatened her cute butt to stay in bed too.

After a little bit more writing and falling asleep during the end of Law and Order I got to bed about 11; they were both snoring when I checked on them… little angels!  Both were flipped the wrong way in their beds, both looked absolutely adorable. 

This morning Diva was in true form… backtalk and sass!  She didn’t want to get up because she was tired and school was stupid, then she didn’t want to take her jammies off because it was cold, she didn’t want to shower, and she didn’t want to wash her hair or get dressed…. SERIOUSLY child!  I finally got out the door about 10 minutes to 7, dropped off the little friend and headed to school.  I get Diva into her daycare program and she doesn’t want me to leave.  She wants me to call in sick to snuggle… OK, Dr. Jekyl really?  20 minutes ago I was the worst mommy ever because I made you brush your teeth and NOW you want me to call in sick to snuggle.  AHHH… Diva I wish I could.  So I promised a whole week off with her when Daddy gets home for R&R and she will be on spring break.  That seemed to work.  Days like today remind me why I love being married to a soldier… I get to be both good and bad guy all at once.  There is something cool about that!

Tonight shall be interesting as I am finally getting my hair done… and Diva gets to do more math and English homework that she hates!  FUN FUN especially knowing that she is going to be an exhausted child.

Army Wives... FRG

When BD got his deployment orders the first conversation we had was about the FRG, Family Readiness Group, and the drama that ALWAYS ensues.  We made the agreement that I would not be a part of it, I don’t need the drama.  Well…. Before the deployment even started there was drama and our FRG President stepped down.  Then the deployment started and all sorts of changes were made and there is no discernable FRG, at least not one that I have heard from in the past 6 months.  I know that there has been one care package sent to my husbands platoon in 6 months, I know that there are t-shirts that were made for the unit… and this is all gathered via Facebook.  Yes, they have all pertinent contact information for me so really there is no excuse other than they suck. 

I do know the need for friends through deployment and I have been incredibly blessed to have found a great friend.  LB is wonderful.  Her husband and BD are battle buddies as well so we know that this will be a lifelong friendship.  I love knowing that I can call her and cry, scream, vent or just talk and that she gets it.  Going through a 16 month deployment does not lend itself to people understanding what you are dealing with.  LB has been a blessing… I know that we will have a friendship and probably a few more deployments ahead of us.

I can’t believe that I have been at this 9 months now and yes, it’s a lot easier.  I miss him terribly by I can function people.  Just 2 days ago a mom from Diva’s school came up to me and, with her most sympathetic look, asked me how I was and reminded me how hard this all was on me.  Sadly, I looked at her and told her that’s its really not that hard.  It’s almost harder to do the short trips than this long one.  Diva and I have a rhythm; we know what needs to be done to make our house run well.  THANK GOODNESS she is almost 7!  She is a little person… although that person has more attitude than a grown adult at times. 

Bye Bye Holidays!

This is our Santa tree... I LOVE Christmas!

I want to make it clear that I LOVE Christmas!  I have loved it since I was a little girl.  I love the family, the giving, the laughing, the smells, the lights, I love setting it all up… I love it all.  I even don’t mind repacking it all… I just love the holiday.  THIS year however was a bit different.  I still loved it and still got all childlike opening my gifts, and watching Diva open hers.  I had my parents at my house for the first time EVER and my Grandmother even stayed with me.  It was fantastic.  I would have only changed ONE thing and honestly he did everything he could to make it equally as perfect.

Now with all that being said…. I am SO glad it is over!  I have my living room back in it’s glory, I have my tables back and best of all WE ARE IN 2011 baby!  Good bye grumpy mall people, goodbye “quick” Target trips taking 45 minutes because there is no parking…. Goodbye Christmas tree leaving pine needles all over my living room.  Good bye 2010 and the looming deployment.  Haha.  I feel free people! 

The countdown has not officially begun for R&R, mainly because we don’t have an actual date yet, but we are in the homestretch.  AHHHHHHH!

We spent our awesome New Years weekend… CLEANING!  Our plans fell through so on Friday we did our nails, played Just Dance on the Wii and Diva kicked my BUTT, then watched the ball drop at midnight (9PM for us Cali folks!), then Tangled on Saturday and finished up the cleaning Sunday.  I now have a garage I can park in, a living room I can live in, a dining room we can EAT in and a kitchen I can locate.  Diva’s room can actually be walked through and clothes can be located.  What a great weekend.  Happy 2011 EVERYONE!

Diva's room... this was just what was hidden UNDER her bed!

apparently Baby, AKA mommy, should have stayed in the corner

AHH... my corner.  It's SO nice to see you again!