Lets LINK and show what we are thankful for!

Wednesday, August 31

Secret Squirrel

Do you ever keep secrets from your spouse?  Cute little anniversary surprises or purchases on your credit card?

I SUCK at keeping secrets, I am THE WORST liar (my parents were thankful!) and rarely can surprise Hubby.  It’s often a joke in our house because I want to give birthday or Christmas gifts as soon as I get them and he has to almost beg me to wrap and stop.  It’s a curse I suppose.

Hubby and I have never kept secrets; we tell Diva that you don’t keep secrets in a family (which is mainly because of the whole stranger and good touch/bad touch type of thing).  We have always been open and honest about everything... it’s, to us, the key to a good relationship.  Although my credit card is my secret... Don’t judge, I love shoes!

Anyhow I have 2 HUGE secret surprises coming up... I have kept them both from everyone just in case.  The last thing I want is to have someone spill the beans before I can... I mean good grief this whole secret squirrel thing is KILLING me!  Diva doesn’t know, my family doesn’t... his family knows something just so they can keep him away and allow time for set up of said surprise.  Then in a few weeks is our anniversary and I have the most amazing thing scheduled for us to do and yet he has NO clue!

Glad it’s Wednesday... only a few more days to keep secret/surprise number 1!

Tuesday, August 30

That screw goes where?!

Hubby spent most of yesterday building Ikea stuff – haha.  Yes, he is the grand master at those because I get mad and want wood glue while he just puts on music and builds!  He built 2 bookshelves and a new bed for the guest room, good job Hubby!  So when Diva went to bed it was the dash at getting stuff organized and boxes emptied in which moment I realized that my garage has the same properties as Mary Poppin’s purse!  I would get a box, and another, and another... and they just kept coming. 

The office is coming together nicely – tonight we are moving the computer out of the guest room and Diva’s desk downstairs.  Then the office will be more or less done sans a few wall decorations.  The guest bedroom... same thing.  All of our art is in my closet for hanging when we are neither rushed nor tired.  With newly painted walls I do NOT want to put extra holes in it.

As we were turning lights off at almost midnight we realized that we had forgotten to finish her 'Parent Homework" (ie. all that crap necessary emergency paperwork and PTA money requests you fill out the first day of school!)  We split it in half and went at it... all done and in her backpack in about 15 minutes.  She is good to go.  I am rarely the first parent to turn that stuff in but I never want to be the last parent either.  Luckily Diva reminds us every waking moment of every day if there is anything that we should be doing for her...

Yesterday was also Diva’s first true run in with daddy post deployment.  She is stretching her wings and is close to clipping... little Miss is getting a little too big for her britches!  She got into an actual argument with daddy over what time she needed to be at the lunch tables before school.  She goes to a before school care program, he drops her off about 30 minutes before school starts just so she can get used to being there before he is back at work.  Yesterday they were having such a good time at home they ran a bit later – she wanted to go one way and he was explaining why she had to wait for the childcare director to walk the 2nd graders over, liability etc.  She freaked because she is Diva and is ALWAYS right... not a good daddy mix. Incidentally he was right but even at 6 last night she didn’t agree... and I thought I was stubborn! 

Today has already been a better day for them... I am on my second cup of coffee and a cup of tea so we shall see how the next 8 hours go.  Tonight will be tightening up the rooms and possibly decorating one or 2 of them with art.  The house is almost ready for our weekend company!

Monday, August 29

Family, friends, shopping and fun!

This was a weekend... Family, friends, shopping and fun!

Saturday was my nephews 3rd birthday and really our first FULL family function since Hubby got home.  I was so excited to hang out with my sister and her family and have Hubby actually there!  We had a blast – Diva was a bit trying but all in all it was a good day.  Then we discovered Fresh and Easy... ADDICTED!  Their big thing is that you can feed a family of 4 for $15 and IT'S TRUE!  We had so much fun getting all healthy food there.  Even Diva participated in fun food.
Then yesterday.... ahh yesterday!  I needed yesterday with the girls.   Hubby, Diva and I went to Kirkland Home (the Home store for Costco’s Kirkland line) and Hubby fell in love.  We got lots of little things for our house to decorate – then Lowes for some items, well Hubby swears we “NEED” ... then home for a play date with my favorite family.  The girls had fun, the moms had fun and the dads... well they went to Ikea with a virtual blank check err LIST of what needed to be purchased for the house.  Yeah – pretty proud of Hubby because I think that he MOSTLY stuck to the list.  It was all needed things, bookshelves because our others were too tall, guest bedroom things.  Now the purchasing is done, with the exception of the TV and then DONE. 

I HATE shopping at this point.  Tonight is Ikea build and decorate night.  YIPPEE!

Friday, August 26

Social Butterfly and a Fill In Friday!

Diva’s first day of school was great!  When I showed up to pick her up from afterschool care she was dancing in the ampitheater with the other girls!!  YAY for my little social butterfly – just like her momma.  Then I talked to the director and she told me that Diva just fit right in and is now friends with everyone   - score 2 for my girl.  On the way back to the car we saw her new teacher Ms SmileyPants (this lady never stopped smiling the entire time I have seen her before school and after).  She told me that Diva is doing fabulously fitting in and that she is very social... I giggled and said that I knew her social skills were honed in so now to work on math and English.  Today was spirit day in which case she had to ALSO wear her silly socks.. unmatched of course!

Onto my second favorite (coffee morning at Coffee Bean with Diva is my favorite... now the Hubby is added to make it my double favorite!) part of Friday mornings!

LOVE LOVE learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers!  I learn so much about my fellow bloggers and can’t wait to learn more. 
Each week, Wife of a Sailor will post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Head back on Friday and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs.  And please feel free to use the button above!This week’s questions are:

1. The first thing I think of when I get up in the morning is
Who’s taking Diva to daycare – YAY, it’s finally a question of WHO not IF I will make it on time! 

2. Lately, I’ve been craving
red meat because I only ate it twice the whole time Hubby was deployed... never learned how to grill. 

3. Whenever anyone says the word
strawberries, it reminds me of my childhood because my first job was watering our neighbors strawberry patch when I was 10 (incidentally I used that money to buy a new Nintendo... the ORIGINAL!. 

4. The happiest word I know is
mommy, but 75 times in succession drives me nuts. 

5. My spouse may hate it, but I absolutely love to put my cold feet on his warm body in bed!

Okay, onto Five Question Friday!

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky to appear on Friday morning (on a "new" post...a post with my answers to the questions...), and link up!

Questions for Friday, August 26th: (Special thanks to Liz, Sandy, @gasfamily, @trooppetrie and @MarandaLamping for their question suggestions! I would LOVE to link YOU in a future 5QF, so c'mon over to my community, or watch for my Thursday morning shout out on Twitter--if you go the Twitter route, remember to @5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF! Thanks friends!)

1. Did you make any fun purchases this week?
We bought all of the decorations for our new house!  It was fun to spend a full day at Ikea and shopping with the Hubby.

2. If you could go to any musical concert, what would it be?
Hmmm... I would love to see Toby Keith again.

3. What is your least fav/ most fav house chore?
Least fav is putting my clothes away / most fav is vacuuming

4. Would you prefer new appliances or clothes?
Umm... thank goodness our appliances are new so new clothes please!

5. Miracle Whip or Mayo?
Miracle Whip all the way!

Thursday, August 25

A very merry unbirthday and a first day of school...

A very Merry Un-birthday dinner to me!
This morning I woke up at 6:10 to a cute knock on our door (no open door policy here - our new house has a shower thats fully visable from the bedroom door so in effort to not have a Diva Daddy run in it's a KNOCK policy), it was Diva all dressed and ready for her first day of school.... one problem my sweetheart, you need to shower!  She giggle, stomped her foot and walked away.  After a late night, her and daddy wanted to celebrate my 32nd birthday on my 13 month birthday since they both missed my real one this year.  What a fun night at the Melting Pot, a surprise, along with a custom coffee mug made by Diva and a new Dell Duo laptop/tablet from Hubby.  YIPPEE!  We got home late so missy didn't get to shower, just a quick teeth brush and face wash and off to bed she went.
Diva and Hubby spent a day making me an AWESOME coffee cup from Diva for my birthday!

Hubby got me the Dell Duo - I have BEGGED asked nicely for a laptop
The first day of 2nd grade for Diva went pretty smoothly... It took us FOEVER to get down the street to the school as the middle school is right across the street so it was EVERYONE’s first day of school and there was ZERO parking.  It’s a new school so Diva was pretty nervous and excited.  Her teacher introduced her to her new buddy because this little girl has grown up in the school so she knew the ropes.  Diva gave us each a hug and off she went.  I cried, watching Hubby getting her lunch ready this morning and making sure her name was in her backpack, on her lunchbox and that she had all of her supplies.   Then, as we were leaving school, he peaked inside her classroom to see her one last time.  It was the sweetest moment to me. 

Now to get some work done... and head home to hear all about her first day!

Wednesday, August 24

Kids healthy eating?

Diva has always been on the high end of the height weight chart 90th for height and 95th for weight (I HATE that chart! It doesn’t factor in ethnicity or muscle mass just weight).  When she turned 5 there started to become a separation as her height became more average but her weight stayed in the 80th percentile, then 6 became more apparent (they used the term obese, I almost killed the nurse) and now at 7 she seems to be coming back together again.  Its a sad relief to mommy-
Diva, like her mommy, loves to eat... the difference is I know that if I eat my weight in carrot cake today then tomorrow I will be munching on basically no carbs all healthy veggies and fruit and exercising whereas Diva doesn’t have that mind set.  She eats too much, too fast and not always the best choices. 
With all of her school shopping lately I have grabbed a size 7 for her shorts, the size she has been close to and wearing for months.  When we put them on her, they were too big.  She was so happy as she is very self aware and feels that she is chubbier than the other girls.  We have been stressing the importance of healthy eating to her so when she talks about food or snacks we remind her of all of the fruits/veggies in the house.  We are keeping her more active, summer is easier as she LOVES to swim, and looking into different sports options.  Its sad though, she gets called fat by other 7year olds.  It breaks my heart when she won’t wear a shirt because it outlines“her belly” (meaning it's tighter over her tummy but doesn't show skin or anything like that).  She is my baby – my little girl and she is perfect.  Her genetics are not perfect and she will probably have a struggle with food but if we can keep instilling exercise and healthy eating I am hoping it will be less of an issue.

Do you struggle with your children’s weight or their food choices?  What suggestions do you have for others in the same boat?

Tuesday, August 23

The bag lady

Yesterday was a busy day – we sold our TV and microwave on Craigslist, Hubby reorganized/cleaned up the garage and I went school shopping with Diva! 

Miss Diva SCORED on her school shopping!  Originally most of what was purchased was going to be used over summer BUT the kid has more clothes than I do therefore I held them out for school (hoping we would get into our new district and I didn’t want them destroyed over the supper).  Last night I took her for her beginning of the year haircut and to get socks and panties... WELL, it was a nice try.  Socks and panties turned into an hour trip to Target and resulted in socks, panties, cami’s, 3 pairs of capris, a pair of jeans and 5 t-shirts.  I also found out that she shrunk!  The size 7’s I was grabbing were too BIG... weird~  We got home and I started sifting through her clothes, putting away the new and bagging up old when I realized HOLY cow the bags keep coming.  I have been buying a little here and there for school and ended up with 3 full bags of clothes and new shoes so she is set, as is her current after school program because we are giving them all of her uniforms and my best friend’s daughter is getting all of the clothes... WIN for everyone.  I end up looking like a bag lady carrying it all out to my car... crap!

Now I need to find an 8 year old to pass down to Diva... save this momma some money.

Monday, August 22

Monday... I sorta missed you!

With Hubby’s homecoming party and our housewarming party coming up I am beginning to hit panic mode.  We will be inviting those that stuck by us during the past 18 months, the people that mean the most to us in our lives to share in this happy time.  Downfall is that Hubby had made me promise to do NO decorating until he came home from ALC.  Now, almost 2 weeks home we are no closer to being decorated or organized than we were the day he stepped foot in the house.  VERY frustrating!  At least he has made sure to have his gym time daily – I WISH I had 2 hours to go to the gym every day... heck I wish I had 30 minutes of non-packed free time!  Anyhow...

This weekend we spent Saturday SHOPPING!  Normally I LOVE to shop BUT right now it’s all high dollars stuff that I HATE to buy!  First stop of the day was Ikea... As every good Swedish woman should, I LOVE Ikea.  You can seriously get everything INCLUDING food there.  So we put Diva in their kids area (WAY easier to shop) and off we went.  First stop, desks – OH LORD.  We currently have a $20 corner desk from Craigslist that SHAKES when you print so we needed a new desk.  HARDEST decision but we did it.  Desk- CHECK.  Next stop was kitchen storage – BIG NEGATIVE there.  Lastly was a rug – SCORE!  We got an awesome downstairs rug as our new place is ALL hardwood on the main floors.
Second stop – Bed Bath and Beyond.  This place is TROUBLE.  We ended up scoring on a 7x9’ rug for $39!  Office is officially done.  We may need a few little things but all in all its complete!  Our kitchen color is picked but the samples we got were WAY too dark on our walls so back to Dunn Edwards Hubby has to go but we did get all of the decorating stuff for that room. 
Third was Fry’s for a new TV – this place is a NIGHTMARE.  It’s like Walmart for electronics and yes, they could probably do a website on People of Fry’s!  Their prices are great and they do full delivery and installation for your TV and if you are wall mounting it then you should do it professionally, in my opinion.  The problem I had was this.  There were no less than 75 employees walking around, great you would think right?  NOPE – I heard all about Raves and Partying, every single one of them were screwing around on their iPhones and could BARELY point me in the right direction much less stick around for questions.  FINALLY we picked out a TV and Hubby was scheduling the delivery and installation while I went looking for a wireless router for the computer.  15 minutes later, after getting lost and sidetracked on the new Dell Duo (SO COOL AND I REALLY WANT ONE!) I get back to Hubby who is STILL in the same spot and I think there may have been steam emitting from his ears.  They were NO closer to scheduling our TV than before I left.  The manager was showing a sales guy something then would walk away and the sales guy would screw it up and the manager would come back shaking his head... SERIOUSLY buddy if you see your sales guy doing it wrong maybe you should stick around and make sure he gets it right!  We finally left with NO TV scheduled or purchased... just a lot of frustration over the situation.  Hubby will have to go back and try again this week... after the painter!

Tonight is the school shopping wrap up!  Diva got into our new district and is ready to start school on THURSDAY!  My baby is in 2nd grade... I can’t believe it.  She can’t wait to start a new school and meet new friends... YAY!

Here’s to a happy, and NORMAL Monday!

Friday, August 19

Friday Fill Ins - Welcome Back Friday... you have been missed!

I am simply elated that it’s Friday!  This has been an emotional 9 days since Hubby finally came home - reintegration is interesting (will cover that another day) but I am BEAT!  We are choosing paint colors tonight for the house, cleaning the beach tomorrow and then I get to model in a bridal show on Sunday (if you are getting married in the OC – there is a HUGE bridal show in Brea on Sunday)  I am excited for my sister titleholders (see told you I was a real princess) to meet Hubby FINALLY – plus Diva is excited to finally be able to CLEAN the beach not just stand there with mommy while I hand out bags and gloves.

Here is to Five Question Friday AND MilSpouse Friday Fill-In!!!

 Check out and link up to Five Question Friday over on Five Crooked Halos (LOVE THIS BLOG!)

1. Do you close the bathroom door when you are home alone?
That’s such a luxury to be alone that I do.  For the last 15 months of deployment it’s been impossible to either close the door or be alone so I relish the moments that I can confirm that the hinges on the door do work.

2. You have to walk around with a word on your forehead. That word describes you. One word. What is it?
Stressball – is that even a word?  Nope, probably not but it describes me.

3. What store do you refuse to shop at and why?
I refuse to shop at stores that I can not afford – so Bloomingdales is off my list, oh and Nordstroms... Macy’s is there basically ONLY because I love their makeup department

4. If you participated in arranged marriages for your child(ren), who would you choose for your child(ren)?
I may participate for the right dowry!  I want Diva to marry a strong man that can be gentle and understanding, one that will take care of her but not smother or stunt her, one that will support her in her dreams but not be pushy... basically I want her to marry her daddy.

5. If you could pick how and when you would die, would you?
Ok this question is just way too morbid for a Friday let alone this early in the morning!!!!   I have such an appreciation for life that I don’t want to know when or how that day will come.  I want to continue to cherish the time I have with my family and friends.

I LOVE LOVE learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers!  I learn so much about my fellow bloggers and can’t wait to learn more. 
Each week, Wife of a Sailor will post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Head back on Friday and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs.  And please feel free to use the button above!This week’s questions are:
1. My spouse and I rarely agree on  what the difference is between need/want, but always agree on the fact that our daughter is number 1.
2. If I could use one word to sum up the way I feel right now, it would be  irritable.
3. One of the things my spouse does that grosses me out is snots in the shower. Ewww. Disgusting.
4. My readers may think I’m crazy for doing this, but I really love to  use excel for EVERYTHING!
5. Frankly, my dear, I don’t  give a rip about others opinions when it comes to reintegration... we will do it our way at our speed!

Have an awesome Friday and a GREAT WEEKEND!  I am back to book writing I HOPE -

Thursday, August 18

Welcome home Groban style!

Last night was AWESOME!  Josh Groban was amazing!  I can’t belive that Hubby and I finally got to see this concert together but it was worth the wait.  Groban has gotten us through wedding planning and a lot of tough times through the deployment.  Listening to the songs, singing along, holding hands and just BEING together made it perfect for us.  I could listen to Higher Window and kiss his cheek or cry during War at Home and grab his hand... priceless.  The icing on the cake was after the show.  We went to go to the bathroom (womens bathroom lines are always SO LONG!) and grab coffee, then had to move the car closer (parking lot closed an hour post show) and figured we would wait to see if Grobie came out to greet his fans (especcialy after cancelling the San Diego show the night before).  About an hour and a half after the show... and smelling a mixture between OLD lady perfume/mothballs, NASTY BO and diesel fuel Groban came out to a throng of screaming fans (teenage girls, their moms and a few random Gay men... and us).  He was signing autographs, smiling and being ...well Josh Hubs somehow got his attention and they had this moment where they just locked eyes and Hubs thanked him for helping through the tough times in Iraq... and Groban responded with “Thank you for your service, and welcome home!”  For my husband who is a HUGE Groban fan (Groban also wished him a Happy Veterans Day on camera last year) it was priceless!

I must say, some of these fans or Grobanites as they like to be called... are CRAZY!  They get all pushy and grabby and well... BIZARRE.  His fan base is all over the place but it seems like a good majority are ladies in my mom’s age range so you would think they would have a little more self respect but NOPE.  They are just as bad as teenie boppers were at a NKOTB concert!  Oh and in the midst of this... Diva had her first sleepover!  It was accidental as she was staying with a girlfriend until we got home last night but once she passed out the mom just asked if she could stay the night which allowed us the opportunity to meet Groban... all in all it was a WONDERFUL night!

Now to count down to see Groban again at Madison Square Garden in NYC in November... our ADULT ONLY trip!

Do you and your spouse have date night?

Wednesday, August 17

Cupcakes for breakfast - Step 1 failed!

Ever had one of those days that you feel like just lounging and doing nothing?  I have had one of those quarters!  I am usually so on top of everything with a crazy amount of energy... umm lately I have felt in one word LAZY – I feel super duper lazy.  Hubby got home and due to his crazy eating and gym habits he ran right out and got us a gym membership... my argument against it was the lack of childcare facilities so he got a membership at a 24 Hour WITH childcare.  Thanks Love, no excuses now.  I have been whining and complaining about my body and my weight – looking at a 6pack every night and knowing he doesn’t eat ANY fast food and only ‘fuels’ his body with the best makes me WAY more self conscious than I could have imagined.  Worst part is that I used to be like him - I knew the value of every morsel that went into my mouth, I worked out twice a day and relished in my muscles and the fact I still had curves.  I was so proud of my body when we met... then I think his eating habits infultrated me a little more than I wish I had let them. Here I am not totally disliking my soft shape.  So I was supposed to go back to the gym yesterday to lose some of the chubbiness that I feel I have but NOPE, I got otherwise occupied dealing with mom stuff and never went.  I beat myself up last night over it but still didn’t do so much as jog when we took the dogs – see lazy!  Tonight is the GROBAN concert that we have been waiting for since March so I won’t be going tonight.  TOMORROW... back to the gym tomorrow. 

Hubby is slowly settling into home – makes me happy to see.  Last night was the first night we have just laid on the couch and watched TV.  Well – our version of watching it was about 15 minutes of Combat Hospital and we were both out cold!  Woke up at 3 to drag ourselves to bed only to get up 2 hours later – YUCK!  We are going to get the walls painted tomorrow to test out our color choices and see what we think about them.  Then hire the painter and be DONE with it.  Home ownership gets expensive.  Haha.

Lets see if I can eat a healthy low carb day... step 1  Oh wait – I already had a small cupcake for breakfast, crap!

Tuesday, August 16

Vindication... feels so good!

Not gloating BUT...

The first few days Hubby was home were pretty easy – for him and Diva.  I am learning, slowly, to let him take the lead on things Diva related thus giving myself a much needed break.  I think he doubted all the drama I would tell him about with her.  All of her eye rolling, hip cocking, neck twitching attitude was all in my head... haha How the tides have changed!  Last night while we were rolling out the trash cans to the curb (BIG deal for these first time homeowners!) he was telling me how frustrated he was with her know it all attitude.  Up until that moment he kept telling me what I should do or how to handle situations – ha ha.  This is vindication and it feels GOOD! 
I am not sure what the next step between them will be but it feels good knowing that I am not alone in this and that I can step back and let him fool with this one for a bit!

Monday, August 15

HAPPY MONDAY and the ensuing Groban-fest!

5 years ago I was introduced to this sorta geeky Bocelli sounding kid from LA - My big 240lb 6'2 boyfriend was IN LOVE with him... sang his operatic songs and seranaded us with songs in several languages.  Summer of 2009 the now Hubby took me to see this operatic genius (well he was being inducted into the Hollywood Bowl Hall of Fame and sang only THREE songs!) and I was hooked! 

This is a Josh Groban week (first of 2 shows we are seeing this year!) and I couldn’t be more excited about it.  I saw him in a mini concert last year in Santa Barbara without Hubby (but Groban did wish hubby a HAPPY VETERANS Day on camera for me!) so I am ELATED to be able to go to my first FULL concert with Hubby sitting next to me trying to sing the songs with the same (although out of tune) melody. 

So much of our wedding planning was done listening to Groban songs (although not our actual wedding song) and this deployment has been a Gobanfest of emotion filled songs.   Its amazing what hearing a specific song can do for your mood, how you can recall the specific moment you heard it – I LOVE music.
So Wednesday night Hubby, me and Hubby’s mom will brave the mean streets of LA to go see Groban at the Staples Center!  I am a little bummed as we had AMAZING seats for his San Diego concert before he CANCELLED it so now our seats are mediocre!  I am a less than happy Groban-ite!

Favorite song (non English) – Solo Por Ti
Favorite song (English) – tie between So She Dances and In Her Eyes
Song I couldn’t hear until deployment was over – War At Home (still haven’t listened to it actually)

T Minus 3 days... AND COUNTING

Saturday, August 13

It hit me...

Tonight Hubby went grocery shopping by himself while I gave Diva a shower - after a full day of car shopping she was a grungy kid.  No car purchased, he is pretty bummed since we sold his gas guzzling hearse car while he was deployed (Dodge Magnum V8 with a Hemi!).  First of all sending a recently deployed husband to a grocery store ALONE in NEVER a good idea!  There are so many available things that he hasn't seen in a VERY long time - Second be prepared for the ensuing randomness of items.  Luckily Hubby didn' do too bad in his buying power but definitely bought things that our house hasn't seen in a very long time. 

When he got home and started putting his items away, with Diva's help OF COURSE I lost it completely.  I began to just sob uncontrollably.  It FINALLY hit me that he is HOME - not on R&R or pass but home.  He isn't leaving again for a few years.  Well not for major Army stuff.  He will be going to drill in 90 days and will be back at work soon and may have a few things he needs to travel for there but nothing more than a few weeks.  Panic set in, a weird feeling.  Instead of a panic that he won't love me or will be killed fighting for a country but a panic that something will go wrong here.  These are my panic-y items:
 - What if its a SUPER hard reintegration
 - What if Diva starts struggling harder than when he left
 - What if we are totally different together

It all seem ludicrous writing it down but for a moment I just panicked.  He just held me and asked if I needed a few moments by myself.  Weird as it seemed - I did.  I needed to just walk away and here I am writing because, as I said months ago, writing is my sanctuary. 
For the past 15 months I have been alone.  Alone in my thoughts, alone in my fears and just alone.  I have made all Diva decisions, all my decisions, all of OUR decisions.  With a distance of several continents and thousands of miles its been just me here and just him there.  We each need some alone time to help with our together time.  I feel horrible saying that but its true - I WE can't rush all of this and in a way we are.  We are putting so much effort into being a together US that it's ridiculously overwhelming for me.  He got home 3 days ago and it's overwhelming, I admit that.

I know that 15 minutes from now will be better, and tomorrow will be better and in a month we will be back to normal but for right now... I need a few moments of ME time, ME in my thoughts and ME in a quiet room.  I love him more than life and I love our marriage enough to admit my limits and it hit me tonight that no matter what he is HOME!

Friday, August 12

Officially doing the GTL!

He is home... officially and FINALLY!  Picking him up at the airport was amazing because Diva got to go.  As she impatiently waited for him to come off the plane (I think he may have been last on purpose)

*sidenote * The pick up at John Wayne was a NIGHTMARE!  There was NO parking so after 20 minutes of driving around (knowing I needed to park decently close due to 2 duffels, a ruck and a backpack) I was cutting my time WAY too close to still check in and get through security so I asked the nice guy at valet parking if I could leave my car there for 25 minutes or less to pick up my soldier.  His response was so nice (said DRIPPING with sarcasm) I could but then it would cost me about $30.  The cost for 24 hours is $30!  Are you joking?!  Nope, I had no options so I actually paid $30 because that money was nothing if I missed him coming off the plane!  Then we got inside and waited in the US Airways line... NIGHTMARE... and the RUDEST agent assisted us.  I asked for the passes to get through security, presented my military ID and he handed me a pass for security.  I asked if my daughter, standing RIGHT next to me the entire time, needed one... he snidely asked if she needed to come with me!  REALLY... no sir she is going to hang out here can you watch her?  GOOD GRIEF!  Another 5 minutes explaining why my 7 year old has no ID.  Luckily the TSA agents helped get us through the line quickly and we got to the gate AS the first passengers were coming out.

Back to my story:

Diva waited, looked around people... got on her tiptoes and asked me no less than 100 times where HER daddy was.  As soon as she saw him it was like a monkey – she bobbed and weaved through other passengers and then climbed up his body.  She didn’t let go... and has barely left his side other than school for the last 2 days.  She even started crying last night when I picked her up alone.  I had to explain that her daddy was at Albertsons across the street.  Then he surprised her with a trip to the OC Fair – they spent all night flipping and spinning on rides that make me nauseous just thinking about.

Today is his second day of leave and his plans are gym, running, laundry... and tanning.  I am glad that he is home and relaxing.  Back to work for me...

Wednesday, August 10

He's real...I promise

Today I will be picking Hubby up from the airport.  The first thing out of Diva’s mouth this morning (hair in her face, eyes barely opened) “today my daddy’s home... finally home!”  Her excitement matched my nerves.  I will finally have my husband home – really really home.  No more training, no drill for a few months...  a normal family.  The house is not in the shape I had hoped to get it in but it gives him something to do for the next few weeks before he goes back to work. 
Last night I was talking to my new neighbors and mentioned Hubby coming home this week – 1 of them looked mildly surprised.  Maybe she didn’t’ believe that he really existed, haha.  A figment of my imagination and it took me a moment but I realize that no one I work with or that we live around have ever actually met my husband.  They have all heard stories about my MP husband, some random thing that happened in theater or his bronze star but he isn’t ‘real’ to them.  I have a million pictures on my desk – most are professional and look like catalog pictures so maybe they think I see ‘people’.  Most people, especially in the non military civilian community we live in, can’t imagine what it’s like to be apart from your spouse for more than a year so it all makes sense. 

In just a few hours I will be in his arms... then off to Target! 

Tuesday, August 9

And so it goes -

This is my last night asleep alone – the last night that I have to open all of the widows before bed (closing them all before I leave for work to avoid over using the AC) and curl up under a blanket on the chair alone.  The last night I will make dinner for one (that feeds 2),  tuck Diva in by myself praying for daddy's return... and subsequently fight with her the next morning about not getting ready to go fast enough.  The last night I will decided, without consulting anyone, what to do after work. 

Tomorrow... tomorrow is the last change in our life for awhile.  The last time I will be picking him up from an airport in uniform.  The last time I will get a priority pass to head to the gate to meet my soldier.  This is a big one though.  Although I realize that Hubby has been home twice in the past year both times have had an end date – a perfectly timed honeymoon period to enjoy vacation.  This time, it’s for good... well for good in Army terms.  It’s the weirdest feeling to be almost done with the entire deployment.  This change comes with so much anticipation and excitement as well as uncertainty and patience. 

I can't believe it's been 15 1/2 months!  We started with home station AT in April 2010 then more training – and a 2 week break and then we stood there at the Doubletree in beautiful downtown Bakersfield saying our “see ya’s” with Diva a hyperventilating mess ( my poor baby couldn't even say anything beyond "don't go daddy").  After a bit more training he got a 4 day pass and I snuck out to Palm Springs without Diva and spent 4 days with my husband before he headed back to Ft Bliss and ultimately to Iraq.  As we waited for R&R through the holidays and birthdays there were days and months that flew by and others that have taken a lifetime.  R&R was the fastest 2 weeks of my life and then we were back at the whole deployment thing... and homecoming.  Homecoming was awesome!  The excitement and anticipation for that first kiss is immeasurable... then just as fast as he was here he was gone again.  ALC was probably the longest 40 days of the entire deployment.  Maybe because he was 6 hours north of us and we couldn't see him, because it was the longest we have gone without Skype or because we made the decision (not the Army) I don’t know but I am glad to see it over.

This past year has seen a lot of changes, a lot of firsts and a TON of growth for both of us.  There is no question who our friends are nor is there a question of our love.  He is the man that I will spend my life with as I am the woman that will nag love him for the rest of his.  Now... just 24 hours and I will have a real husband again.

Monday, August 8


His Zen is rubbing me the wrong way!  I am manic at times.... WAY dramatic and over the top and a HUGE ball of stress and nerves.  My darling husband used to be similar to me – he was just always on 10 and I fluctuated (usually below 5 unless we were late or I was lost).  NOW... it seems that I am forever on 8 and he is about as worked up as Matthew McConaughey on Dazed and Confused.  Not sure how that will transition from Iraq to Orange County... from unit living to house with animals and a 7 year old and time constraints and work and bills.  See... I even get worked up writing it!  I am happy that in just a few days I can resume my ‘forever’ but I may need to load him up on caffeine just to keep up!

My other weekend randomness.... Recently it has come to my attention, that there is a person on MY Facebook page that doesn’t like me.  Reason I know this is that for the past year she has ONLY commented on my status or blogs when she has something negative to say others have mentioned it but I just noticed it.  I don’t know what I have ever done to her but oh well - What I don’t understand is WHY she remains there.  It’s become a fun little experiment at this point – I comment on her stuff and she doesn’t respond, I test my theories and she does.  I am NOT 15; I think it’s rather childish.  I wish I knew WHY she doesn’t like me; maybe it’s my honesty that she doesn’t find so refreshing.  At least I know in my heart that I have never said anything behind her back that I haven’t or couldn’t say to her face – unlike those that she calls friends.

Growing up my mom’s reason for mean girls was always jealousy.  This NEVER made sense since I was always the less fortunate kid in school.  As an kid it never seemed to bother me, mainly because I never attended a school long enough to really care and never cared what people thought anyhow.  I really have never been one to care what others think of me – I am sure that I have irritated, annoyed and pissed off enough people in my life... I am not perfect BUT I have the heart to admit that. 
I have lost close friends for reasons unknown – watched friendships just fade away because life happens and changes – I have seen new ones form and bonds strengthened.   Basically I have the important people in my life that should be there.

One thing I know for sure is that I can not wait for Wednesday and then planning our house painting and HOMECOMING party!

Friday, August 5

Expiration ... I am expired!

Yesterday was officially my last day as an active duty wife...  my ID card expired yesterday so it's the end of an era.  Its weird - I have spent the last year quoting my 'sponsors' social, using his insurance and other perks of being a milspouse.  Now I get to go back to being just ME, Mrs.Hubby First Name wife and not Mrs. SSG Hubby Last Name wife - I am pretty excited about this.  Hubby does reenlist in the Reserves this year, after 14 years in he better... haha. 

Well- MilSpouse Friday Fill In time!

1. Do you have siblings and are you close with them?
I have 2 younger and an older – My younger brother is 15... so the 16 year age difference is interesting but he is awesome and I love having him around.  My younger sister... well I have nothing to say here.
My older sister and I live about 20 minutes apart and have a great relationship.

2. Would you rather be slightly UNDER weight or slightly OVER weight?
Well duhhhh I would of course rather be slightly under weight!!!  I have lived my life underweight so I am used to it and rather feel more comfortable there.

3. What's your favorite State Fair food to splurge on?
I LOVE funnel cakes.  I took Diva last year and we had funnel cakes with chocolate chips.

4. What are your thoughts on your kid(s) going to school in a few weeks?
I am glad she is going to be back to the structured days of school BUT it means that my baby is another year older... she graduates in 10 years.

5. Pool or Ocean?
I love sitting by the ocean but being in the pool.  The ocean is beautiful and peaceful...

Thank you to Wife of a Sailor (click the button above) for these weekly Getting to Know You questions!  Last week it was “or’s”… this week it’s fill in the blanks. I love quotes (you might have noticed that I start each of my posts with one) so these are the beginnings of famous quotes… I want your version of the last part of the quote.
  1. Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll finally be busy away from the TV.
  2. It is amazing what you can accomplish if  you can stay up past your childrens bedtime
  3. If you can’t stand the heat stay in Southern California!   
  4. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to where someone else is walking
Well behaved women seldom have any fun

Thursday, August 4

Hangers in my dreams!

I talked to Hubby this morning and he is just OVER the moon excited that he leaves training tomorrow – he heads back to Texas to get his final paperwork done to come home.  Now, while this is SUPER exciting for him... NOTHING changes for us until he is actually here.  I know that I should be WAY more excited but yeah, I will be SUPER excited the night before he comes HOME.  As I try to remind him, he is moving and for him things are changing in preparation for homecoming but for me... I get up, get Diva up... take her to school, head to work... get off work, pick her up and head home... same day after day.  Not complaining just reality.

For now I am super excited about my new hangers!  I LOVE tank tops.... I am a sweater set girl at work and a tank girl on weekends so they get double duty therefore I have A LOT of them.  I went out and got a bunch of these hangers for my tanks!  I LOVE them.  It helps keep my closet in order and provides more room for the rest of my clothes. 

 I have my pants on these ones... yep, I am in love!

AND all of my gowns and formal cocktail dresses on these
See... all organized

Big excitement for Diva is having one of her friends over Sunday for some pool time.  Little Army Girl has a daddy that is also reserves but we just met them 2 months ago when they moved into our old apartment complex.  I really like them and it’s been good for Diva to have another Army girl around.   I am looking forward to it too as we haven’t really had people over since we moved – gives me a reason to totally finish our room.