He is UNEMPLOYED?

People pay too much attention to my life … the other day my upstairs neighbor came down and confronted me… in a hushed tone asked if my husband had left me and our daughter.  She had so much pity in her eyes (By the way these are the LOUDEST neighbors possible.  I think they do calisthenics in their living room and bowl in the hallway EVERY NIGHT.)   This question comes days after the guy in the next complex, whose apartment faces ours, asked me where hubby was.  People he has been gone almost a year now and you are JUST noticing?!  I have a blue star on my door, so I find the comedy in where we live.  We do live in an area that is primarily Asian and Middle Eastern with a beautiful Mosque about 5 miles away and trail cutouts that I have only seen used during prayer time.  So I guess I shouldn’t be SO surprised that no one knows what a blue star means.  I often question why my husband was DYING to move here… I mean we have awesome schools but really?

So my nice reply was that my husband did not leave me, he was currently deployed and would be home soon.  She responded, “Oh he is UNEMPLOYED? So why did he leave?”  No, ma’am he is DEPLOYED, military?  Iraq ring a bell?  ANYHOW… weird people! 

So to be clear… no he didn’t leave me, divorce me, find someone new… he will be home soon, I love him and miss him a lot….we are fine, thank you for your concern.

Stepping up on my soapbox...

Yes, I know there is a war going on... I know that hubby is in a war zone... believe I haven't forgotten that for one moment since his boots hit the sand almost last summer.  I worry like any wife of a deployed service member.  Weird, random things can happen... I know this.  I am thankful for every Skype chat, every email, gift... every moment.  We have been very lucky up until this point with communication and constancy.  We have been able to chat in some form just about every day.  We have been a little spoiled blessed, I realize this.  OK.. super spoiled blessed but whatever. 
I am a pretty strong and independent person, no doubt.  I have not had any major insecure meltdowns or cried to friends... I have been pretty even and hubby has even mentioned how thankful he has been for my understanding and flexibility (as though I had ANY choice in the matter... guess he is being thankful that I didn't moan groan and complain about EVERY change)
This week hubby has been doing some pretty lengthy missions in which we have barely spoken.  The first day was 3 or 4 emails, saying the normal, I love you, I'm safe type of things and telling me how HE was doing (mostly tired but a few other nouns).  Then as the week has gone on the emails have gotten shorter and shorter and less and less.  Today, after a plan to use my favorite Google Chat for the first time... I got an email:

Baby

I just got back from mission, and I am not going to make IM.  We stayed out a bit longer than we had planned. Talk to you soon baby angel.

I LOVE YOU 

 

I am thankful for what I get for knowing that he is ok... for knowing that he loves me.  But seriously he will be home for R&R in just a few weeks... now is NOT the time I want to feel any distance between us.  I have been looking forward to this just as much as a woman looks forward to date night... so when its cancelled it's tough.  I am a creature of habit, admittedly, so I don't care for major changes...such as a this whole deployed soldier ACTUALLY having to be a deployed soldier.    

Writing this makes me see how much of a colossal baby I am being... I get it.  I have friends who hear from their spouses weekly or bi monthly so I know that I can't/shouldn't complain BUT when you get used to something it sucks when it changes. 


So my random soapbox is over... I will step down now

Friday Fill In

YAY for Friday!  It's the first Friday in March and a week closer to R&R... I want to say that I love the Friday Fill In because I love being able to meet new milspouse bloggers through it... FUN

Link up and learn more about fellow MilSpouses over at Wife of a Sailor!

1. Do you or your husband ever wish that your husband was in a different branch of the military? submitted by The Turner Family
Nope, I couldn't imagine hubby being anything but a Soldier and honestly I am so proud to be a Soldier Wife... much better
2. What duty station(s) are on your “No Way, Hell No, Not Going, Have Fun Unaccompanied” list and why? submitted by Every Branch
This  is when I say... Thank Goodness we are a Reserve family... although my 2 NO WAY IN HELL are Ft Leonarwood, MO and Ft Bliss Tx

3. If you could be one age forever, what age would you choose and why? submitted by Three Krakens
You know, I don't think I'd want to be any one age forever. I like growing and learning and experiencing life as I get older.   Although any age that required minimal responsibility would be good. 

4. If you were a breakfast cereal, which one would you be? submitted by the C.W.
I would totally be Rice Crispies... I love being able to be plain or all spiffed up (sugar, banana's.... fruit of any kind really)

5. What is your morning beverage of choice and why?  submitted by NH Girl Displaced
I LOVE green tea in the morning... I do Starbucks on Saturday with Diva but other than that it's the trusty green tea.

Show Me Your.... BLING

I went to visit Mrs. Yellow Ribbon to do her link up on "Show Me Your..."  And this week, it's rings!!! 

Did you look at rings together?

We browsed a store or two just chatting about the type of rings I liked ... simple is all I asked for.  He designed this all by himself and picked out each individual diamond.  I LOVE IT

Do you like your ring? Did you from the beginning?...and be honest!

I've loved it from the moment I saw it!  It wasn't until after he proposed that I found out how much work he put into it, which made me love it that much more.  My favorite part is that they are both eternity bands.

How often do you wear your rings?

I only take my rings off when I am in kickboxing

Do you clean your rings?

I take it to the jeweler once a month or so to have it cleaned. 

What went through your mind the very first time you saw your ring?

OH MY GOSH!  It's BEAUTIFUL!

Thoughtful Thursday

I have been thinking a lot lately about our life… our family and our marriage.  I am lucky, very very lucky.  Diva loves her daddy so much and is so excited that she only has a few spelling tests left before R&R, its all she tells anyone that will listen.  VERY cute indeed.  The day he left, she refers to as the worst day of her life, a very very sad day.  That being said it makes moments where she is so full of pride for her daddy to see something, so much better.  She started gymnastics the same month he left, so every week I video or take a photo of something that she has learned in class and we send it to daddy.  This gives her something to talk to him about on Skype and keeps him as actively involved in her life as possible.

This was a picture from January but she is still so proud of it that she does it all the time to practice.

Touching her toes to her head

Raise your glass!

I have ben addicted to this Pink song lately! 

So raise your glass if you are wrong
In all the right ways
All my underdogs, we will never be, never be
Anything but loud
And nitty gritty dirty little freaks

Maybe this is because of  hubby's recent infatuation with wine and dinner... I have never been a wine drinker but but according to hubby I need to start.  Apparently stealing your childs capri-sun and spiking it with vodka while you watch 90210 isn't the best or most grown up choice... or so I have been told.  I don't care... until you are walking in my cute 4 inch heels I don't want to hear it.  I don't want judgements past nor comments made.  I am not a lush, never have been and I can't remember the last time I was drunk... OK, not true it was my Bachelorette Party (LOTS of alcohol in a very short period of time) and if you were there you know what I mean.
Tonight was one of those nights where every part of me wonders what life will be like when hubby gets home.  Diva and I have a routine.  Tonight was gymnastics, then home for dinner & homework (10 words in alphabetical order is an hour ordeal) and tonight a special treat after reading... JACUZZI!
We get out to the pool and there are 4 young men out sitting in the jacuzzi... truth be told without glasses I saw nothing but dark hair.  I did know that they were not a day over 16 based soley on their conversation.  Once Diva and I got in I was told how 'cute' I was... umm sweetie I am probably not too terribly much younger than your mother so SHOOSH!  *RANDOM but I hate the thought that I am not much younger than a teenagers mom *
So they kept asking me what high school I go to... or maybe college one pointed out.  Diva is sitting their laughing because she could hear my giggles and knows that mommy is 31 and that number is "MUCH bigger than 18" (yep... thank you my little Diva)... My daughter is almost 7 and you are asking me about high school.  So I politely mentioned that I was married and much older than they thought I was... they asked where my husband was to which I replied the country.  WELL... for the next 20 minutes I was inundated with questions from these young FARSI speaking boys.  They were from the middle east, 2 from Iraq, 1 from Afghanistan... and the third was from Mexico.  Yes, odd. 
I answered questions about the US military (manily they wanted to know what fast food places were on the bases, if we had internet and if the Soldiers actually killed people) to the best of my ability and then almost died with the last statement. 
Ready?


Wait for it...


"Wow, it must be nice to be rich... I mean your husband must be make A LOT of money being over there!"  HAHA... REALLY A LOT?!  I don't know if I would go that far dear... dear sweet uninformed child.  Oh well... Diva and I got out and headed home as she asked, Mommy are we really rich? Aww.  Sorry to disappoint you there Miss Diva!
As I cuddled up on the couch with the puppy and the kitty I realized how little some people know about our military.  I was saddened by this thought but took these young mens interest as hopeful. 

As I pondered this thought I filled up my glass with another Capri-sun mixture and watched Hellcats on the CW!

Hello March - Countdown City!

The countdown can begin, OFFICIALLY! 

Since the moment hubby left on July 5 I have been waiting to say, "See ya next month", now I can.  The past 8 months have had their ups and downs… moments that I thought I would never make it as a single-ish mom.  Days I thought Diva would be shipped off to boarding school before this was all over.  Then there have been days that life is amazingly perfect and I couldn’t imagine this Army life not being our regular life.  Never once has there been any question as to my love of this man or his of me.  He has done everything he could since this started last April with training to remind me that he loves me and we are a forever to him too.  I am glad that I will have his arms around me soon, glad that I will be getting that much anticipated kiss.  AHHHH… R&R will be amazing.

With that being said, there are so many weird little nervous things with R&R though… what-ifs.  What if we kiss differently, like he suddenly becomes a slobbering mess, or if we are just ‘off’ and not meshing?  What if – well the bedroom is weird?  Yes, my what-ifs are all ‘marriage’ things… things that have always been amazing with us.  Our first kiss was at the end of our second date, he left with a hug and came back knocking on my door saying he forgot something… he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.  Cliché but amazing and our relationship have stayed like that so the what-ifs are killing me.

Did you have a set of what-ifs before R&R or homecoming?  If so, how did you handle them?