When to hang up? Friday Fill in

Have you ever tried to call into a radio station to win something?  This week I have tried to win tickets to a private Martina McBride event (Hubby LOVES her), Stagecoach tickets for my girlfriend and I to go (they are $150 each) and entrance to a Pick A Purse party... to no avail.  Here is the problem I have... how long do you try to get through?  Do you just keep calling until they announce the winner or do you give up early?  Once station was caller 25 so I called 45 times and then was done, another station is caller 102 – that one I try a bit longer but figure if they have 9 incoming lines they probably get their ‘caller’ in about 4 minutes TOPS.  I have NEVER won anything and it’s a real bummer.  SOMEDAY!

I feel like that’s been my week... calling with a busy signal.

This week needs to come to an end... thank goodness~ This weekend is going to be good, busy and hopefully I get a lot accomplished.  Head over to Wifey's blog to link up your blog and to sign up for the MilSpouse Secret Santa!

1. The best part of October was spending time with Hubby and enjoy life as a total family.

2. The worst part of October was the weather being all over the place and not getting back to the gym.

3. For Halloween, I'll be Trick or Treating with the Vampiress (AKA Diva) in our NEW neighborhood with some of our neighbors!  We have NEVER gone in our own area so I am pretty stinkin excited.

4. I hope that in November I get my chubby butt back to the gym (I think I may have seen some rear cottage cheese last night!)

Extreme Couponing Craziness!

Last night Hubby had to work SO what did this momma do... CLEANED AND ORGANIZED my closet and bedroom.  I put together my summer clothes box for the garage, then got my bag to donate (not looking back) and finally got it all organized to be found more easily.  When I was all done I took a few moments to dream and map out my closet as I see it, EVENTUALLY.  We can do basically all of it ourselves, I just want the center built in piece and have to figure out what to do with my shoes.  DREAM BIG

By the time I was done Hubby was almost off work so I took to my FAVORITE couch spot with a cup of coffee and got totally enthralled with Extreme Couponing... have you seen this show?!  These people save THOUSANDS of dollars using coupons!  I am OVER the moon if I save $30 I in a $250 trip.  So in all my 2 hours of watching last night I learned a few things:

1. IF you are going to cut coupons be organized!  This is my biggest problem but I did see a few cool ideas last night to keep me organized for a trip to the grocery store.
2. You can use more than 1 of the same coupon on several items of the same thing
3. You need an ENTIRE garage of crap you will never use in order to save a ton of money (Who really needs 274 packs of gum or 400+ rolls of toilet paper just because it was free!)
4. Saving this kind of money is not easy OR time efficient.  This one lady saved almost $1100 BUT it was in 21 transactions AND a 6 hour shopping trip.  
5. My time is WAY too valuable sitting on the couch than 6 hours at Albertsons!

When I was done watching the Vegan lady I decided that I needed to organize my pantry.  I thought we had WAY more than we do but now that I can see what we have I can start clipping my coupons and maybe... save $50!!  Now I feel the need to go coupon crazy and see just what I can do.  Crazy couponing people~

Stock in Target?

We moved 90 days ago and our garage has been about the same since then – 1 car can fit but the other one, NOT so much.  Last night Hubby and I went into the garage to find a pack of business cards... small and random at 10pm.  I commented that I couldn’t wait to get our house finished and to be able to park into the garage...  Then OF COURSE we get into this long conversation about how to accomplish the garage.  We decided that we need a bunch of matching containers – I thought getting different colors for us and Diva would be a better (and more efficient) way to do it.  I mean really... how often do you get stuff out of the garage for you?  NEVER – Yet, I am always looking for something for her.  Best part is that he works all weekend... who do you think is going to get STUCK the honor of doing it all?? Yeah, that would be ME!  I guess today I will be buying a bunch of plastic tubs to start organizing.  We also need to hang our curtains so our neighbors stop having something to look into (comments have been made, haha)

Maybe I can not whine about it this week and surprise him when he gets home Saturday night with my hard work.  I mean he still has 2 duffels, a ruck and 6 foot lockers full of CRAP... oh and one more at the unit that he STILL hasn’t picked up from Deployment (sadly his unit from last deployment kept 1 foot locker for 4 years!!!!)  I guess I will just MOVE them out of the way and get my sh*t done!  Hmmm.... can I not whine or comment this week about my crazy weekend?!

I also got some neat ideas for MY closet... yes my walkin that I LOVE.  It's not too small but it's not huge.  I would like to figure out how to make my closet like this:

NOT my closet...

look like this:

Extra Curricular out... Family In

I feel like I have had so many UNBELIEVABLE changes since Hubby got home – more have been internal than anything.  There has been so much re-prioritize of things.  This isn’t always bad, just difficult... especially when it isn’t your idea.  He doesn’t see the importance in my hobby (and while he has a hobby he considers it an extension of the gym so mine is out, I think that sitting home staring at each other is obnoxious... we are also realizing that we have no MUTUAL hobbies.  So with all this going on I have had to make some serious changes in my views... nope I have not asked him to because, lets be honest, he isn’t going to.  So my extra-curricular are out for a bit, family is more of a focal point.  I have always had a life outside of our family, because I think it’s healthy... well he disagrees.  Our lives will move into being, work, and gym and home... at least for now.  With that being said we had an awesome family weekend!

On Saturday night Hubby and I got to go to the wedding of a wonderful woman I met through an organization I volunteer with – sadly he and I were fussing for the past week and really didn’t want to go together to this but did.  I have no problem admitting that it’s a little harder than I expected and I think he is a little less tolerant and flexible than he likes to think he is.  Well, it took us 92 miles to finally listen to each other and move forward with a better understanding.  We came home being energized and in a great place.  Nothing like watching other’s love remind you of what you have.  Yesterday was our first full family function (a birthday party for Diva’s friend) that we have attended since his return... SO much fun!  We got to play with reptiles and arachnids... and REALLY cute baby turtles!  Ok, truth be told I didn’t get within 5 feet of the tarantula and secretly hoped that it would get stepped on... there I said it.  YUCK!

Thats my girl...spider on her HEAD

This gave me the willies for hours!

Her inner Britney Spears moment

Yes this cute little guy is only 3 weeks old and I wanted to hide him in my pocket BUT he will grow to be 200lbs!

TGIF - 5QF

I must say that I LOVE Diva’s new school – they are more excited about parent involvement than anything.  Our old school was great and we had Smartboards and all the new-fangled stuff (PTO fee of almost $300!) and while the new school is older and has PROJECTORS with the clear films they PUSH parent INVOLVEMENT not just parents money (our PFO is $10).  We have a music program, art program, PT program... all parent run!!  I am in love.  I am volunteering in Diva’s class 1 time per month and genuinely enjoying mommy-hood.  Tonight is their school fundraiser Carnival... Diva is OVER THE MOON excited, in fact it was the first thing out of her cute morning breath laden mouth this morning.  Daddy is even volunteering in the silly string booth!  I am in love with my Friday!!

Questions for Friday, October 21st: (Special thanks to @eah1234, @katieb38, @nicgep1114, Sandy, and Lora [no blog link!] for their question suggestions! I would LOVE to link YOU in a future 5QF, but I need your questions to do it! C'mon over to my community and offer up your best question suggestions, or watch for my Thursday shout out on Twitter and offer them up that way! Just remember to @5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF so I see it!)

1. Where do you escape to when you've had enough?

At this point I have NO escape – When Hubby was deployed I would put Diva to bed or nap and write to my hearts content but right now I have no where and it’s slowly getting to me... I must find a place.

2. What shows are you watching this fall?

We are pretty dialed into XFactor as a new show SVU as a 12 year staple (MISSING my Stabler!) and a little 90210 (Guilty Pleasure).

3. What was the longest roadtrip you've ever taken and where did you go?

I hate road trips... LOATHE them people.  I would rather get p*ssed off at TSA for groping me at the airport than sit in the car for anything over an hour or 2.  With that being said we took a two week road trip when I was 13 with my parents and little sister, 2 dogs and a motor home.  While I have some pretty funny memories of being attacked by geese, canoeing in a lake that we later found out had an alligator in it... and driving home in a 13 hour stretch because of the Landers quake (we borrowed the motor home from someone who ended up LOSING their home in the quake) I am not a fan of that type of trip...

4. Do you plan on taking your kids to Disney World?

No- We go to Disneyland every year so I don’t see the reason to fly clear across the country to visit the same place.... just sayin.

5. What is something people would surprised to know about you?

I am petrified to speak in public, I wish that Hubby would go active duty and the place I want to live MOST in the entire world is Virginia even though I hate being cold.

ATE SH*T

Oh yes, there is no nice way to put what I did this morning –

I am not known for my graceful nature... I am in fact a HUGE klutz.  So much so I am truly amazed that I can pull off heels, EVER.  This morning was PROOF of my total lack of grace.

I was getting out the door; I parked in the garage (which is usually Hubby’s spot until we get the garage cleaned out but that’s a whole different story!) but was trying to hang up the phone with Hubby who had just gotten to work.... Diva was attempting to break the door get in the car but it was locked so while my arms are full I am fumbling with the iPhone to get it back into my purse (which, indecently, was full of my gym clothes) and get my keys out all while holding an evening gown as well... I missed a step or 3 and landed on my knees on the concrete.  My keys went flying; my glasses went flying however my phone didn’t.  I wanted to cry SO bad but didn’t.  I got Diva in the car and began looking for my keys.... NO WHERE TO BE FOUND.

I email Hubby to see if he knows where my extra set of keys is... no response.  CRAP!  Diva got out and helped me look but we found nothing UNTIL I thought about the stupid Armoir in the garage... you guessed it... STUPID keys flew under there into the WAY BACK (must have bounced off my car tire).  We had to get a broom to fish them out.  After 10 minutes and 2 busted knees we were on our way to school.  Oh and the kicker is I have a TV interview today to talk about the charity I volunteer with Got Your Back Network so I am dressed quite nice and was PRAYING for no blood on my NEW pants.

By the time I got to work my entire body feels like I got hit by a bus... I am SUPER achy but luckily nothing is broken and no one but Diva saw.

Have you ever totally wiped out??

Baby Gurgles

A new day, start over... I am working for that.  It’s 1:30 and I am just now writing, that says something about today.  I stayed up until Hubby got home from work last night.  That used to be an issue because with his schedule we could go days without really seeing each other – I took one for the team.  This morning I needed coffee straight to the veins BUT I was running too late to stop so I had to settle for crappy work coffee instead of my LOVED Coffee Bean.  We were all in SLOW MO today.  Funny morning to me.

Now it’s just lunch (choosing wisely), finish work and head to the gym.  I am going to do what the Hubby wishes and simplify –   I have to send emails out tonight and respectfully decline on a few upcoming things... and I am NOT good at saying no.

Our neighbor has a little girl that is 6 months old – lately she has been flexing her vocal chords in a very sweet way.  Hearing her just makes me smile – it’s so sweet.  This morning hubby looked at me and said, “Maybe its not annoyed and it’s cute to us because we haven’t experienced it but GEEZ its cute!”.  Babies are a struggle for us... we both go back and forth on a baby or an older child.  We both struggle all the time with it BUT hopefully we can make some decision in the next 6 months to help us figure out what ON EARTH we want.

Formulating a thought

**WARNING TOTALLY BITCHING VENTING HERE!**

I am not really sure what to blog about today.... I am frustrated and annoyed with Hubby beyond belief.  He thinks it's all done and we are ALL GOOD because I let him think that.  Its easier than continuing to beat a dead horse... he will NEVER understand my side and I think his is just plain dumb and selfish!

I was pushed into making a decision that goes against who I am and what I have worked 21 years for – He thinks its silly and stupid, he thinks I am ridiculous for pushing harder so he gets his way.  I am tired of trying to convince him that it’s a hobby that I love, that it’s something that is good for me and gives me a goal... I have to close a door on my life that I was far from prepared to close.  Oh well, that’s marriage I guess.

For the last year I have worked full time, held a pageant title with 38 required appearances, been the Secretary and Volunteer/Family coordinator for a non profit, been the co-leader of Diva's Daisy Troop, bought our home, not missed a parent teacher meeting or school performance... yet he thinks NOW that he is home I should just go to work and come home because my 1 appearance a weekend is TOO MUCH!  REALLY DUDE! 

I have so much to say yet nothing that I can formulate properly into words without sounding like a nagging and ungrateful for his safe return wife.  I am neither but this homecoming is a DISASTER some days.  I have spent the last year doing it ALONE – I have proven to myself and to the world that I can therefore I do not NEED someone to show me how to operate a remote control or criticize HOW I spend time with our daughter. 

I do EVERYTHING for that man and it’s still feeling like it’s not enough – kills me!  I hope this all folds in better eventually otherwise he better figure out how to get it all done because I will do for Diva and I and he can do for himself... lets see how that lasts.  The man couldn’t handle 3 days without me to help yet I did it for 15 months!  AHHHHH!! I just feel like SCREAMING some days.  This momma needs a break.

Getting to Know Me... 5 Questions and Friday Fill In

Check out and link up to Five Question Friday over on Five Crooked Halos (LOVE THIS BLOG!)

1. Do you prefer your ice cream in a bowl or in a cone?

Sadly it depends on the ice cream!  I love Mint N Chip or Rainbow Sherbet in a cone but all other in a cup.  YES, weird!

2. What three things do you love the smell of?

BabyMagic – I mean seriously the smell of a baby covered in that is amazing!

My Husbands neck the first time after separation (deployment or work) – need a say more?

Gardenia – Reminds me of Hawaii

3. Giftcards or no? (In regards to gift giving...) I mail gift cards to family out of state but if I am looking at you I want to give you a neatly wrapped and decorated gift to tear open at your hearts content.

4. What sports did you play in high school if any and do you still play them?

HAHA- I tried out for Cheerleading and Tennis... NOPE, I am NOT athletic in the least.

5. Were you in band in high school? What instrument did you play?

Nope- we didn’t have a band BUT I played the flute in 6 & 7^th grade. 

I LOVE LOVE learning more about my fellow MilSpouse bloggers!  I learn so much about my fellow bloggers and can’t wait to learn more. 
Each week, Wife of a Sailor will post a list of questions on Thursday (so you can have your blog ready on Friday). Head back on Friday and enter your blog post into Mr. Linky so others know who else participated and we can all visit other blogs.  And please feel free to use the button above!This week’s questions are:

1. A word that always makes me laugh is squashy!  The Hubby HATES the word because “it’s not a real grammatically correct word” YEP, I don’t care and will use it forever, more so now because he HATES it.

2. If you looked in my refrigerator right now, the oldest thing you’d find would be nothing more than 2 months... I cleaned it out when we moved.  SORRY!  Before though I found a bottle of mayo that expired in 2008. 

3. If I were written about in the newspaper today, on the front page, the headline would say “Crazy Woman Running on Empty RUNS OUT”

4. The last movie I saw was Love and Other Drugs.  It was cute, had it’s moments but overall it was just A LOT of NAKED Ann Hathaway.

5. The best thing that happened to me in the last few weeks was that I got booked on a cable show to talk about the Got Your Back Network.

the humming of the washing machine.

I am sitting her tonight working on my book and its quiet.  Hubby is out shopping for a shirt for work, Diva is sleep (poor baby is getting sick) and I am just here.  For a few moments its like he is deployed again and I have a few moments to think.  I love having him home but it seems like we are just ALL up in eachothers business all the time.  I went from having time at night to myself to cook, clean, write... VEG with my own thoughts.... now it's cook, clean, homework... Diva,s normal night and then instead of having time to myself to work on my book or myself its camp out in front of the TV and watch him sleep.

I am sure that I sound ungrateful but that is not my intention.... I startedd this blog to deal wth deployment in an honest way.  Well now he is home and I will still deal with this in an honest way.  I am SURE that I am not the only woman that POST deployment misses her ME time.  I am sure that this is just part of the process of getting it all worked out.  He has his 2 hour gym time and I have mine 30 minutes of gym time... then I am home doing my normal MOM thing and he is ...well, doing what ever it is that he WANTS to do. 

I am loving the fact that at this moment all I hear is the hum of the washing machine (Diva's EVERY Firday Spirit shirt is stained again.... stupid school makes a WHITE tshirt for Elementary kids.... BRIGHT!) and my typing.


Well BACK to my book.... I can't wait to get it published.  SOON

Wife Code... OOPS!

The other day I talked to a good friend after a small absence (not intentional just life!).  Our husbands were deployed together, we spent the year supporting each other... oh and our kids are getting married in 20 years.  She asked how reintegration was going for us... instead of using the normal “oh everything is GREAT!” line that I hear CONSTANTLY, I was honest.  Hubby is having a tough time getting back into the swing of things and feels out of place everywhere but the gym.  It’s hard because I can’t fix this – I can’t PUSH him into feeling better and fitting in more.  I knew this would be an adjustment and I am doing the best I can and being as understanding as I can.  He procrastinates in things that I find IMPORTANT (finishing the house decorations), is late to outings more often than not but will move mountains to make gym time and time to ride his new bike. 

Anyhow... She and I were talking the other day, Hubby’s birthday, and I mentioned his tough time.  I was telling her about the closeness yet distance I feel, how he always talks about no fitting in.  He isn’t violent, screaming... just SUPER quiet and withdrawn at times.  I didn’t even think for a second beyond venting BUT the next thing I knew I had a text from her hubby.  He sent a gift to MY hubby for his birthday and apologized to me for not being a good friend.  CRAP!  I know how men are, they don’t want anyone to know that they are struggling but good Lord – I was venting because I don’t know what else to do.  I know that there is a wife code – I know that my Husband wouldn’t be upset but I feel bad.  He is not weak, he has deployed before and this was BY FAR easier for him physically than the last but for some reason this is hitting him hard.  Some days I feel that I have nowhere to turn because none of my civilian friends understand and no, my marriage is NOT in jeopardy, we are working through it all together.  The past year has been me doing it all with no help because he was gone... some days I feel like I still do it all with no help yet he is here. 

I need a vaca!! 

One year Blog-versary!

I MISSED MY  Blogiversary!!!  I had this whole WONDERFULLY well written blog post, scheduled it and with all Bloggers LAMENESS it just became a draft.

Well September 27 was my Blogiversary!!YIPPPEE HORRAY!

Thank you to the almost 80 people that think I am interesting enough to follow and the hopefully MANY others that just read my ramblings.  I want to do a simultaneous giveaway... My Blogiversary and my 100 follower celebration SOOOO... If I can get to 100 followers (about 25 more) I will have a fantabulous giveaway.

Reflecting is a wonderful thing...
This time last year Hubby had been gone about 6 months... well he has now been home 2 months and things are getting back to normal, slowly.  Some days are better than others... some days I think he would rather be ANYWHERE but here.  I am having a hard time accepting his help or opinions mainly because I feel like he is PUSHING his thoughts on me instead of making a meer suggestion.  His new favorite phrase is "Its not THE way is A way" which I am HATING more than ZEN. 

I am thankful that he is home, don't get me wrong but some days I am overwhelmed by just his presence.... here's to reintegration!!

FINALLY he caught up...

Today is the Hubby’s birthday!  He has been reminding me for the past 76 days that I am robbing the cradle and am WAY older than him... yes, it's true I am a WHOLE 76 days OLDER than my Husband!  BUT, now we are both 32... bite me!!

Last year he was celebrating in Iraq with... well nothing because his birthday box showed up 3 days late!  The box was awesome, if I do say so.  He had a full party in a box sent... it was wrapped from the inside and was full of everything you need for a party.  Spiderman plates, napkins, plastic silverware, balloons, candles, rice crispy treats and a cute BIRTHDAY BOY button to wear!!  Well, with all that we needed to step it up this year!!  Diva had just the trick – I let HER do all the planning!!!

Diva hatched this plan of decorating genius!  Then we realized that she was 7 and I am NO Martha Stewart and had to improvise.  This morning Diva and I woke up early (5:50AM!) – snuck outside and decorated Hubby’s car inside with streamers and balloons (she wanted to wrap it with streamers but I had to explain the simple fact that it was REALLY wet outside and it would MOST LIKELY ruin the paint on his car WHEN the streamers ran, she wasn’t too concerned), then we covered the upstairs with streamers and Happy Birthday signs and made coffee.  Hubby was SO surprised that we did all the upstairs decorations we couldn’t WAIT until he came and saw his car.  After he poured his coffee he met Diva and I on our patio - as opened the front door with his morning coffee he was blasted with SILLY STRING!  She picked out a yellow and green and we covered him with it... he just laughed and so did she.  I wish I had a camera to capture the moment but it was pretty perfect... she was PRETTY proud of herself.

After some clean up it was off to work/school for Diva and I... tonight is Cheesecake Factory, German Chocolate Cupcakes and some presents which Diva also picked out ALL by herself and even did some switcharoo on the daddy.  Now this should be fun

This year... DECORATIONS

Every year since I moved out of my parents house I plan and have always wanted to decorate for the holidays but just never have – Well, Christmas is my ONE decorating holiday.  I always have great idea just lack either the time or the money (decorating is EXPENSIVE!) I see other people’s houses and think, “WOW, I wish I had THAT kind of time/money or creativity,” UNTIL this year that is!  On Saturday the three of us went to Kirkland Home and bought Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas decorations (In which I had a TON of Christmas stuff already)! 

Yesterday I saw the Martha Stewart Halloween catalog and got A TON of ideas for little things we CAN do for Halloween to make our place FUN!  So I am ALL about decorating... I think we will do our Halloween stuff tonight... then tomorrow is Hubby's 32nd birthday!!!  I have some great ideas there too.

Hubby and I are OVER THE MOON that we are hosting Thanksgiving this year, our first one in our new home, actually our first one EVER!!  Since Hubby’s work schedule doesn’t let us know what days he’s working until the week before and I have to work the day after Thanksgiving we are staying put.  My family is going to come out, my parents and my older nieces; to stay with us I am pretty excited.  I am actually trying to convince my mom to do Black Friday shopping with me... just because.  I did it last year and was at work, fully done with Christmas shopping my 6am!!

 

 Then it will be on to Thanksgiving/Harvest decorations... So much to be thankful for this year.

YEAH... I CAN’T WAIT!

Our fireplace currently has NO mantle so we got this to go AROUND our fireplace for our stockings

In our upstairs window... fun and creepy

Stairway window

5Q Friday - And the talk that never happened... I think

I tried to have the TTC conversation with Hubby last night... haha - yeah that turned into all of the ways we are currently busy, Diva's struggles and a million other things that didn't even TOUCH what our next step was.  I guess I will just put it away for a few more years and see what happens.  It's funny because while it really bothers me today, tomorrow when we are running 400 errands and Diva is being a trooper and just hanging out I will be happy with the just one we have.


Now for my HAPPY dance....

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post. Answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear tomorrow morning! Remember that this post is NOT the post with the linky list on it...that is tomorrow!

Oh, and remember to have fun!!!

Also, feel free to play along on Twitter! We've had some people do that in the past couple of weeks and it's a fun, different way to answer the questions!

Questions for Friday, October 6th: (Special thanks to @tarabuzz, @signingcharity,@gasfamily, @trooppetrie, and Sandy for their question suggestions! I would LOVE to link YOU in a future 5QF, so c'mon over to my community and offer up your best question suggestions! Or watch for my Twitter shout out on Thursdays, and offer up your questions that way! Don't forget to@5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF if you go the Twitter route!)

1. What is your go to comfort food or sweet?

While Hubby was gone I turned to cupcakes to ease my pain – now that he is home, I turn to cupcakes to ease my stress... so this girls comfort food is sweets!  Sadly, I have to SERIOUSLY be in the mood for cupcakes in order to eat them.

2. What is the most romantic place you've ever been to?

There is a strip of beach on Kauai that Hubby and I went to – we were the only people on the beach and it felt like in the whole world.  Just up from there we renewed our vows and it was perfection.  I would have to say that Kauai is the most romantic place I have visited.

3. What is your favorite thing about fall/Halloween?

I LOVE LOVE the crispness in the weather, the first crock-pot meal and curling up on the couch.  I love watching all of the kids dress up and get excited for Halloween, nothing better than the sparkle in a kids eyes when they run up to a door SCREAMING TRICK OR TREAT!

4. How would you spend 24 hours alone?

After the past 15 months of deployment and just being Diva and I, I would LOVE to take an overnight trip to Palm Springs and enjoy the spa.

5. Does you husband bring you flowers? Are you the bring-me-flowers type of girl?

Hubby used to be a HUGE “Just because” flower guy and was awesome when he was deployed BUT since he has been home YEAH NOT SO MUCH!  I LOVE Calla Lilies – used to be Gerbera Daisies but as I have gotten older so has my taste in flowers.  Maybe my just because will return... hmmm.

Nunya = None of your BUSINESS!

Meandering through a store minding my own damn business!  I stopped at a cutesy little dress and was thinking how I could make it for 1/4 of the price -  This lady comments how cute this little dress is.

Random lady: “Aww, how old is your daughter”

Me: “She’s 7 1/2”

Them: “Oh is she your ONLY one?” 

REALLY nosy lady at the kid’s boutique!!  This was yesterday as I was killing time waiting for a meeting.  Super cute boutique (AKA WAY overpriced kids clothes that I had ZERO intention of buying!!)  I am not hyper sensitive about my only child - contrary to certain people's beliefs.  I recently became an aunt for the 6th time, I love my nieces and nephews - they are all pretty awesome kids and I miss spending more time with them.  However I am happy with the life that WE chose.  

I always get asked if we are TRYING for another child or if we WANT one.  The answer changes daily – If Diva is being a pain the answer is NO but most days I want her to have a sibling... as does hubby.  When he came home he started talking about it quickly, let’s have a baby.  WOW.  Umm sweetheart, lets just practice K??  As I have mentioned before, I have a 5% chance of getting pregnant.  Yes, I have checked... been poked, prodded, examed and violated MORE than enough times to know... I have taken more Progesterone and Estrogen in a month than my mom has since menopause started.  (3 P suppositories a day for 2 weeks and 2 Estrogen patches every other day for 2 weeks) in addition to my thyroid medication and my vitamins.  I HATE PILLS!  Yes, I am also a medical anomaly.  I have HypOthyroidism however am borderline underweight, I started running out of eggs and going into menopause at 19).  I think I have been ‘wanded’ more times than I have actually had intercourse in the past 2 years!  My fertility doctor and I got REALLY close!!  With this being said... I have been thinking about doing another IUI.  Maybe it’s worth one LAST chance.  Before our TriCare cuts out... hmmm.  Maybe I should email Hubby and schedule some ‘Us’ time tonight to chat about this.

My brain also wraps around the fact that Diva is 7 ½, an 8 year age difference is A LOT between kids so I am not sure if that’s really what I want either.  Maybe we should look at adopting a 2 or 3 year old boy and then the age difference would be workable, they would never share a school but would be close enough to share their life.  My older sister and I are 8 years apart and it wasn’t until I was in my mid to late 20’s that we really became close, my younger sister is 3 years younger and have never been super close but have always shared our life... then there is my brother that’s 16 years (OH YEAH!) younger than me.  Our relationship borders on maternal versus sibling.  We all have weird dynamics but have made it work.  Maybe that’s the ticket, just making it work.

Oh yes... totally random TTC talk.  Sorry for this.

Out of the mouths of babes!

 Have you ever had a conversation with your child that leaves you in tears from laughter or embarrassment?  When Diva was 3 a woman at the grocery store asked her what her Daddy did, she said that he kills Jihad (please dont judge, he had JUST gotten home from a 22 month deployment most of this in Abu Grahb prison), the woman looked at me with wide eyes until I explained and then realized that there were 3 Muslim women within earshot of this conversation to which I apologize profusely then called Hubby and demanded he fix this upon his return that day.  When she was 5 a man asked where her daddy was and she said that he was going to jail for killing bad people - again she thought his deployment was going back to Abu so again I explained and the 80 year old WWII Veteran laughed at the situation however I was mortified.  I then began to wonder what she said when I wasn't there.  Good grief!  Oh and the kicker was the NEW school front desk lady calling me over a comment made in class.  They were discussing their birthdays - Diva stood up and announced that she was adopted therfore was never born!  Well- her birth certificate does not state adoption so the school had no idea nor were we planning on telling them.  Not for any reason just that we wanted her to just be Diva not the adopted one - well I had to smooth over with her that she was really IN FACT born just not out of my tummy. 

Cue this mornings conversation -

 I have a friend who has been with his partner for 10 years, they are wonderful together.  Over the past year Diva has realized that they are a couple, “like mommy and daddy” and that they love each other very much.  She realized this when we went to their home for dinner and it's a one bedroom apartment and she felt compelled to ask where they both slept.  This weekend she asked if they were married, I told her they weren’t as it’s against the law in our state.  She replied that it was sad BUT was very concerned that if they got married and both wore suits how would you tell them apart.  I am by NO means homophobic, in fact quite the opposite.  I think that people deserve love regardless of age, race, gender or sexual orientation.  Their love has no negative effect on my life therefore it’s no more my business what goes on behind their doors than any other couple I know.   My husband and I have different schools of thought on this and I think they are a good balance.  Have you had to explain same sex couples to your children?

I pray that the rain doesn’t get any worse because tonight is a big meeting to start the fundraiser for the widow’s organization I am part of, The Got Your Back Network.  We are meeting with a potential venue and I am crossing my fingers it works.  So IF you are or know any Military Widows in the SoCal area please let them know and have them log on and register with us.  I am REALLY excited about it – I have completely fallen in love with the organization and all of the families I have met.

Back to wishing I was home... snuggled up in my comfy chair listening to the rain while watching Crazy Stupid Love.

Rain Rain go away... come back another day.  Preferably one in which I do NOT have to drive!

Yes, it has a name... and I HATE IT!

My BIGGEST pet peeve is Spectator Slowing, Look-i-Loo traffic, AKA MORONS that need to stop/slow down to see a crash, flashing lights (best part of it is when they are a CalTrans truck)  !!  I was headed to work today and there was a slight drizzle... good gracious STORM WATCH 2011!  Cars are slamming on their brakes, weaving or going 4mph!!  Then there was a fender bender on THE OTHER side of the freeway and ... YES, you guessed it my side was STOPPED!  Flashing lights is like a moth to a flame for stupid CALIFORNIA drivers!  My normally ridiculously long drive was even worse – it normally takes me about 45 min to drive 21.3 miles to work and an hour home.  This morning was over an hour to work... HOME WILL SUCK!

The rain also turned Diva into a pain!  She wanted to wear shorts and a tshirt today (its PE day), well rain requires jeans as I WILL NOT have a sick child right now.  Yeah, that went over SO WELL... she moaned groaned griped complained and acted generally pickely about it all.  Was walking funny because her pants are “too tight”, nice try they are actually a size TOO BIG.  Sadly, there was quite a bit of comedy in the whole thing... oh well. 

Lets hope the morons on the street get off later than me... I have things to do today!

A Cracked Diamond!

I realized last week that one of the diamonds in my engagement ring looked... well DIM.  I have been staring at it, cleaning it... basically just obsessing over this dim little stone.  I looked and looked and realized the damn thing is CRACKED!  I didn’t know you could crack a diamond but look at me, going beyond expectations.  I showed Hubby and he just shrugged his shoulders and told me that I am too hard on my ring.  WHAT?!  I am not a brick layer or a jackhammer operator, how the hell am I too hard on my ring?  I work at a desk, haven’t lifted a weight in a year... and clean the house.  That’s it!  I should stop having to clean; it’s too hard on my ring. 

I say this after I spent 2 hours cleaning, swiffering and mop & glo’ing our wood floors!  We have probably 1000 SF of wood floor, they are DARK wood and we have a white dog and an orange cat... and a Diva with sandy shoes and a Hubby that smokes (thus tracking in ash) so our floors looked like CRAP since the last time I cleaned them for the party.  About half way through my cleaning regimen (sweep, vacuumed, wet swiffer, vacuum, sponge to the corners and floor boards on my knees, then mop & Glo)  I hated them, yes they look AHH-MAZING now but getting on my hands and knees with a sponge to get the corners and the edges so that there aren’t any weird lines, keep the dog/cat and child upstairs so I don’t get sticky footprints all over the place is just a SERIOUS pain in the butt.  Hubby comes home after I get the downstairs floors done and the dining room is just drying from the wet swiffer, he tip toes upstairs and changes into his biking attire and heads out for his ride... oh yes and in the course of this we realize that Diva’s new fish is dead so I get to tell her and he bails.  GREAT!  Of COURSE the Hubby comes back before the Mop & Glo dries and walks his SWEATY feet all over my floor.  REALLY!   I just stared in total disbelief... Umm hello GENIOUS you saw me doing this, you smell mop & glo and if all else fails I am sure the look on my face is screaming IDIOT the floors are wet/clean and your feet are NASTY/SWEATY! 

It never fails... next up is our room as my closet floor is now about 4” high with my total LACK of organization and needs to be redone.  OH NO, maybe that will wait.

Well... onto our Monday!

Awareness - Catch 22

I have never been secretive about the douche bag that I was married to - a real piece of YUCK!  I don't dwell on that part of my life - it's over.  But October is Domestic Violence Awareness month so I will say this.  IF you are being abused, verbally, physically, emotionally or financially you are NOT alone - 1 in 4 women will be in her lifetime.  There is help - I promise you that there is.  If you need to talk about it or need some refrences please email me at talesfromasurvivor@yahoo.com

I will leave you with my shirt from Clothesline Project in 2009