BITCHING VENTING HERE!**
I am not really sure what to blog about today.... I am frustrated and annoyed with Hubby beyond belief. He thinks it's all done and we are ALL GOOD because I let him think that. Its easier than continuing to beat a dead horse... he will NEVER understand my side and I think his is just plain dumb and selfish!
I was pushed into making a decision that goes against who I am and what I have worked 21 years for – He thinks its silly and stupid, he thinks I am ridiculous for pushing harder so he gets his way. I am tired of trying to convince him that it’s a hobby that I love, that it’s something that is good for me and gives me a goal... I have to close a door on my life that I was far from prepared to close. Oh well, that’s marriage I guess.
For the last year I have worked full time, held a pageant title with 38 required appearances, been the Secretary and Volunteer/Family coordinator for a non profit, been the co-leader of Diva's Daisy Troop, bought our home, not missed a parent teacher meeting or school performance... yet he thinks NOW that he is home I should just go to work and come home because my 1 appearance a weekend is TOO MUCH! REALLY DUDE!
I have so much to say yet nothing that I can formulate properly into words without sounding like a nagging and ungrateful for his safe return wife. I am neither but this homecoming is a DISASTER some days. I have spent the last year doing it ALONE – I have proven to myself and to the world that I can therefore I do not NEED someone to show me how to operate a remote control or criticize HOW I spend time with our daughter.
I do EVERYTHING for that man and it’s still feeling like it’s not enough – kills me! I hope this all folds in better eventually otherwise he better figure out how to get it all done because I will do for Diva and I and he can do for himself... lets see how that lasts. The man couldn’t handle 3 days without me to help yet I did it for 15 months! AHHHHH!! I just feel like SCREAMING some days. This momma needs a break.