Thought formulations...

WOW- taken me all this time just to formulate a coherent thought after the holiday weekend.

We had a blast hosting our first Thanksgiving (EVER and in our new home), I even got to use my Great Grandmothers China... very cool to me.  We were able to spend some good family time as well – My parents, my nieces, my Grandma, my Mother in Law, the Hubby and the Diva... PERFECTION! 

Now that its back to work, life and planning for Christmas – with 80 degree So Cal weather its SO hard to get into the Christmas Spirit.  I even avoided shopping on Black Friday and Cyber Monday when last year I was COMPLETELY done shopping on Black Friday.  The only real purchases I made were Christmas decorations to hopefully put me in the mood to shop AND a Canvas print of Champagne Flutes from our wedding for our kitchen/dining room.  This next month will be filled with perfecting our home, FINALLY hanging up our curtains before my inlaws arrive for Christmas, potentially deciding on a photo theme for our office and MAYBE picking colors for our room... downfall being that Hubby will be leaving for 2 weeks for his civilian job thus leaving much on my plate... sadly the deployment prepared me more for this than his coworkers could imagine.  Their wives whine when they are home late from work or have to miss a party night out... if they only understood what its like to walk in the shoes of a MilSpouse.  I would LOVE to have those concerns and irritations. 

Since this time last year my concerns have gone from keeping Diva happy during the holidays to mitigate the feelings of loss and lonliness with daddy being gone, worrying sick about Hubby yet keeping his spirits up through the holidays to somedays walking on egg shells because I feel that mostly I don’t do much right where he is concerned.  No matter how I speak, it’s often greeting with “stop being snappy” or something along those lines... its like just my voice annoys him yet I don’t feel that I am doing anything wrong or different than I did before.  He wants to act like the last year (15 months) didn’t happen... sorry but that’s not an option.  YUCK.

Oh well... back to positivity.... work.... ehh, I tried!

Holiday Orders!

Do you have a Santa Swap or want to give the kids in your life a unique gift?  How about the NEW MilSpouse you know - maybe she wants to represent?!

Taking orders this weekend for the Holiday Rush!

If you are interested in designing a custom Tank, T-Shirt or Hoodie OR if you like something you see and simply want it made please email me: militarywifeapparel@yahoo.com with your desired item, size (indicate child or adult) and I will invoice you.

There is a 7-10 day shipping time.

A house full

The family will be here late tonight... I am pretty stinking excited about it.  I haven’t seen my nieces in 8 months, my brother in 7 and my parents... well I saw my mom in April.  They haven’t seen our new home, or the Hubby since he’s been home.  This also marks the FIRST time I have ever hosted a holiday before... I AM TERRIFIED!!

I am thankful for so many things this year – the safety of Hubby is high on my list.  This Thanksgiving take a moment to remember all those that won’t make it to the table this year – Those still deployed, those rehabilitating in a hospital somewhere and those that paid the ultimate sacrifice.

I volunteer with an organization, The Got Your Back Network, that  works with families of the fallen.  We are preparing for our 3^rd Project Gratitude event – taking 25 widows and daughters to Miss America.  If you would like to donate items for their gift bags or financially towards something for the program please let me know.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Inopportune Time... of course

Of course this week is Thanksgiving... then Christmas and holiday junk so all crap food for the next 45 days!  Well... NOT FOR ME!  I am trying so hard to support Suki and her goal.  I started my morning off with a protein shake (Went to Target and bought a personal blender for $15!). Pure Protein Chocolate with a banana, not too bad actually and a total of 330 Cal, 34.7b Protein and 40.9g Carbs.  I know that the protein amount should be above my carb intake but the banana killed me (27g).  Of course now I feel this HUGE lump of protein shake in my stomach, ahh that’s enjoyable.   Downfall is that I am already craving SWEETS....  I need help.  Going to try to overload with water and green see if that works –

I did download an App for my phone to help me track what I eat and drink – maybe the added accountability will help.  Good gracious, this is a lot of work and I am not a huge fan of calorie counting BUT it’s necessary to make sure I am eating the RIGHT food.

We are also talking about child number 2 – no BIG decisions made yet but Diva is ready, I am ready (I think), so now it’s just up to Hubby and his readiness.  I got a copy of our last home study in hopes that will help the process along once we take the step – I am aiming for a decision to move forward by January BUT I also know that you can’t rush these decisions... if so we would have 4 kids by now!

Creating a 27 hour day!

My girlfriend, Suki, and I were discussing getting in shape – she is competing in a pageant in a few weeks and I am piggybacking on her plan.  I DESPERATELY need to do something.  I feel YUCKY about myself.  I have gained about 7lbs since hubby came home – I am well aware of all the new wiggles, jobbles and stuff that comes with it.  My jeans are too tight, my boobs are falling OUT of my bra and I have a back bulge.  So in a few words... it’s GOT to go!

In our conversation we decided to hold each other accountable for working out and eating healthy – I need to be held accountable to someone OTHER than Hubby.  While he is supportive – he takes minimum responsibility for daily carpooling of Diva so she is primarily my time management tool.  I can NOT get off at 4pm, drive the 45 minutes (plus) to the gym, workout for an hour and make it to her school by 6pm– this is after getting up at 5:30am to just get the day started and everyone to where they need to be on time.  He wants me to do whatever it is that I want – just not always possible.  His best suggestion is to go AFTER Diva goes to bed – so 8pm he wants me to drive 15 min  to the gym, work out for an hour and then come home around 9:30 and still think I will have ANY time with him what-so ever.  Just thinking about that makes me tired – I am asleep by 10!  This momma gets tired.

He says if I want it bad enough I will do anything – so I am in the process of making it a 27 hour day!

What’s your weight loss secret?  10lbs in 6 weeks in my goal – let’s see how it goes!

Sick... 5Q Friday!

I brought NYC home with me... well at least a cold from there!  Hubby and I are both sick, FABULOUS!  He is a baby, Diva is being SUPER needy and I get to take care of both while feeling like I got run over by a Hippo!  Luckily this weekend is pretty mello.  I am judging the National American Miss Pageant on Sunday but that is about it.  I love judging!

Now for the 5Q that I have missed so much!

Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then watch for the linky post to appear Friday morning and LINK UP! Don't forget the very most important rule of all: HAVE FUN!!

Questions for Friday, November 18th: (Special thanks to @gasfamily, @_mycrazy4, @trooppetrie, @katieb38, and Sandy for their question suggestions! I'd love to link you in a future 5QF, so c'mon over to my BlogFrog community and offer up your best question suggestions...or watch for my weekly shout out on Thursdays and offer 'em up that way! Remember to@5crookedhalos me and use hashtag #5QF!)

1.   Do you have a go to song that always puts you in a good mood?

I LOVE Enrique Iglesias and Shakira for a good seat dancing mood!  I sit in my cubicle and dance.... well as much as I can to either!

2.   Are you a real Christmas tree kinda person or do you go with a real fake one?

It’s all about a REAL tree.  This year we are buying a tall thick tree to put in our house... new house with high ceilings makes for a BIG tree.  We can’t wait.

3.   What are you thankful for?

This list is FAR too long – short list: Thankful for my family, my freedom, my job and my life

4.   Which fashion fad from the past do you wish you could wear today?

I LOVE the 20’s fashion... women in all dresses (admittedly I would be a flapper) but very feminine

5.   Do you wait until the "low fuel" light comes on before you fill up the gas tank?

I wait until the damn thing yells at me to get gas then I drive another 5 miles looking for it to be 10cents cheaper.

Back from the Big Apple!

Not necessarily happily but yes, we made it home from our New York Trip.  First things first... I LOVE the East Coast!!  Hubby and I had some much needed R&R and bonding time together – I don’t know if we realized it before but boy do we now.  To reconnect post deployment, travel and just explore together was AWESOME!  He even moved into a more Metro/Preppy look which I am a BIG fan of.  Sadly we are both jumping right back into work today - both working at 7am!

I have written a lot about reintegration and how much of a pain it is – well, it’s true!!  When Hubby first got home it was one step from miserable – not because he was there but EVERYONE was on edge.  I hate feeling that walking on egg shells feeling, and I know that ALL 3 of us were feeling it.  Then he got back to work and it was there again – we never took time really for us.  So as this trip got closer we started getting a bit edgy again, maybe the anticipation of not knowing HOW it would be?  I don’t know but once we landed at JFK and started exploring a whole new place... we were just loving and in heaven together.

Day 1  we landed at 5:30AM EST and headed to the hotel to freshen up – then off to the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island... the Financial District, Wall Street (yes, we saw the cesspool that the Occupy Wall Street People have created) then headed back to the room to add another layer as it was COLD and WINDY before we went to the 9/11 Memorial.   That was TRULY TRULY Amazing!! To not feel emotion is impossible – especially knowing that my husband has spent almost 3 years in countries of war due to the tragedies of that day – knowing widows who’s husbands would still be alive if it weren’t for September 11.  It was a hard place to be that night but I am so glad we visited it on Veterans Day – Oh and Joe Biden was there the same time we were!

I will add a day of our trip daily this week – but to say that we are happy to be home is an understatement.  I LOVED New York but I missed our Diva so much that I woke her up at 11 last night to kiss and hug her.... I even carried her downstairs to say HI to Daddy and show me the cake that she made us.  Although... she WILL be attending Julliard or NYU someday so MOMMY can have ANOTHER reason to be in NYC.

Blessings and packing

Every so often in life there are amazing blessings that present themselves.  I have been blessed to model, to travel, to be independent, to have great jobs and now to have my family.  I am amazed every day when I look back at the last 32 years of my life, I have come so far and been blessed with so much.  Last night Hubby and I were lying in bed discussing the fact that this weekend 5 years ago we were headed out on our first date and here we are heading to New York happily married parents, post deployment.  We have had so many wonderful blessings since then.  Each night we say prayers and thank God for our blessings, for each other and our future.

Last night Diva and I headed over to buy our Anaheim Ducks apparel for this season.  She has grown out of her previous sweatshirt and mommy has never bought anything because... well, it’s EXPENSIVE and my screaming, yelling and occasional expletive is pretty supportive!  However, they are going to have our family on the jumbo-tron tonight so I figure we should be representing our beloved team... besides, I am not growing anytime soon so I can wear the same thing to every game for the next 3 years!  The family that loves hockey together... is one happy bunch!

1 more day... and we are OFF!  Hubby and I packed last night – he can be such a girl!  We had a blast trying to figure out how many of our So Cal long sleeves shirts it would take to keep us warm in NYC (I am packing 4 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of shoes, 3 or 4 coats and about 20 tops!  If we had that much fun packing... lets PRAY it keeps through our trip.

Counting Down, My first Pinterest Trip and Thanks giving!

Let me start today – as I have the last few, with what I am thankful for

Today I am thankful for my beliefs.  No matter what they are or how they differ I am thankful that I have a firm set of beliefs that I live my life by.  My husband and I have differing political beliefs (who are I kidding, Hubby and his family have differing beliefs) however Diva will be raised to find her own beliefs on things.  Whether that be politically, religiously or anything in between... I will always urge her to follow her heart and make her own mind up.

With our NYC trip in just a few days I am trying to be smart about packing and do the following:

1. Put together outfits to keep me warm AND look cute!  I do not have ANY interest in looking like an Eskimo for 5 days
2. I am also trying to pack smart and light, I have 1 suitcase and that is all. 
3. COMFORTABLE shoes~ I want flat boots so that I can be cute and NOT living in my tourist tennis shoes!
4. Have my suitcase weigh LESS than Hubby’s... which is normal.  Trip to Hawaii left him 10+lbs OVER weight and me about the same UNDER weight.

I LOVE to travel and have been DYING to go to NYC for years – back in the day some of my friends went and worked there for a few months.  I was so jealous and wished I could have been in a position to do that however now I am going.  This is going to be a busy week RIGHT up until we leave.  Tonight Diva and I need to go get our shirts for hockey this year... her last one was 2 years ago and it BARELY fits and I have NEVER bought one even though I love both our local team and the sport.  Tomorrow night is the game... YIPPEE!  They are actually honoring Hubby and his homecoming at this game, pretty cool I think... then we both work a regular day on Thursday and fly out that night.  Leave it up to us to be SO last minute with this.

Here are some ideas I have for this weekend... we shall see

Thank you to my first Pinterest Trip for these great examples!!!

Comfort food - Thanksgiving

I don’t post on Sunday... well I normally don’t as that is OUR day.  Hubby and Diva and I made the decision that Sunday (Hubby’s schedule permitting) is our family day... we even have a family dinner inviting all local family over to our home and I cook.  Yesterday was crock pot roast, carrots and broccoli with his mom making homemade Mac and cheese!  Some SERIOUS comfort food there.  I love our Sunday’s I can’t believe we ever lived without them but Diva, my mother in law and I instituted them during the deployment as a sure fire way to connect weekly.  We also got to have a mini playdate with a friend and her beautiful daughters!  My friend is competing in a pageant this weekend and wanted to talk clothes... I hope she takes home the crown!

Today I am thankful for my pageant family!  This past year I have held a title that came with 7 sister titleholders; 2 7 year olds, 2 teenagers, 2 20-somethings and another mom.  I am thankful for each of them.  I learned so much and will never forget the amazing memories that came with this year.  I am sad to see it over this weekend!  These ladies and (the Little Miss’ moms) taught me about family in a different way, taught me about acceptance and understanding.  They were all there for me every day, every month and every appearance with smiles, hugs and embraced Diva and I with our deployment.  I can’t express to them how much they each mean to me – they are an extension of my family and my life.

Today I am thankful for...

First I must say... we will be in New York walking around the FREEZING COLD city this time next weekend. I am going to start packing tomorrow so that there is no last minute rush!  Hopefully we don't get on each others nerves during our trip like we have a bit lately.  I think there is too much in our brains and we really need to get away to recenter on what is truly important, US.
Today I am hosting a baby shower.  I am so excited to be a part of this day but it does make me think about Diva... I really hope that the next child we have gets one of these handy little parties.  When I adopted Diva there was no party, when her adoption was final there was no party (well except the luncheon we had after court).  I would have loved to get some clothes, or toys... something to help off set the amount of money a child costs.  Going to be a really fun day though!

Well- today I am thankful for...
My family!

Yes, they are frustrating and we argue but I love them all. Between a brother, sisters, nieces and nephews (there are 8 of them) as well as my parents and Grandparents... Aunts and Uncles. Oh yes there are a lot of us. I am thankful for them. We may not see eachother often but they are still my family... the FUN in dysFUNctional!

I am thankful that my Grandmother is only 35 minutes from me, that she and I have the closeness that we do and I am thankful that Diva gets the opportunity to know her Great Grandma as I never did.

Never take your family for granted because one day... they won't be there anymore.

Thankful Thursday - Link Up

I am really loving the fact that I start each morning off once I get to work thinking about something that I am thankful for especially this morning when it didn't start out so well with Diva.  I don't like fussing with her on our way to school... starts both our days off rotten!

Today I am thankful for my friends!

My life has been a series of interesting roller coasters – a lot of downs with each up.  I have friends that have stood beside me through High School, an abusive marriage, divorce, miscarriage, infertility and deployment.  Friends that I have been able to call at a moments notice when things go upside down and know that they would be there in a heartbeat.  Friends that I would drop everything for, even if they never ask... I will send you a party hat for their pity parties and celebrate on the phone; I will participate in life even when I don’t agree with their decisions all because I know that they would for me.  Whether its secret belly button piercing, concerts, boys, shared mommy dates, or sharing life I am thankful for each person that I call a friend.  I look forward to a lifetime more memories with you all! 

Giving thanks Day 2 - Please link

I am a very thankful person and as irritating and annoying as some people are in my life I try to remember to tell them.  Today is my 2nd day of Thanksgiving...



I am thankful for Diva. 

I met Diva was she was an 8 month old chubby faced baby – I fell in love that day.  Every time I saw her I fell more and more in love – every kiss and hug and giggle.  I wanted her to be mine, not the neighbors.   Just one year later I was in a Social Workers voicemail asking what I needed to do to adopt her, I was single and 26 while she was now in foster care and 20 months.  Just 10 months later she was sitting in my arms on our couch babbling about nothing and giggling.

Life throws curves and things change but my love for her and my effort to get her never faltered.  She saved me from myself and I love the settled down me.  The person that gets to snuggle and cuddle, watch Phineus and Ferb and bake cupcakes.  She is my Diva... and I love every sassy bit of her.

embracing my LOVE of Starbucks!




Lets link and share what we are each thankful for... a little more positivity in the world!

30 Days of Thankgiving

Every day this month I will list something that I am thankful for - Serious or silly there are so many things in life that I could not be happier and more appreciative of. 

I am thankful for the safe return of my husband. Being apart for 15 months and listening to him talk about running missions, IEDs and just being generally lonely was so hard.  He has been my best friend since the day we met - The one that I turn to when all is breaking loose around me and I don't know what I would have done had I lost him.  This will be a Thanksgiving to thank my lucky stars.

Boredom and Worms~

Do you have write your post and re-read and realize you just bored yourself?!  I just did that and started over. 

Hubby and I are headed on our post deployment adult trip to NYC.  This trip was booked about 6 months ago and we cant wait.  I am a little nervous because he and I travel differently (He has ALWAYS traveled Military and it’s a little different) plus he seems increasingly annoyed with my existence lately.  I am sure that it’s just getting back to work and life but he seems pretty annoyed with me most days.  Although yesterday started out pretty rough we ended up having a wonderful day together and had quite a bit of fun.  He says that it’s not annoyance but I know those faces... and that is most certainly what it is.  Now, to figure out why. 

I am not sure if there is a standard ‘Get it together’ post deployment date but we are working on 3 months and I am still giving him every excuse possible to be a pain in the ass.   I keep saying “Oh he is still getting used it”.  I don’t know if even I believe it or if I have made his life so damn easy he is just taking advantage of it.  I still don’t rely on him for much, maybe I should but in some respects I feel like I can’t.  Diva still looks to me for most things and apparently we share a secret language that he hasn’t cracked yet... I have no clue but we just get each other with limited words and I won’t feel guilty about it.  I am sure that my lack of relying on him isn’t helping but I REFUSE to let her suffer for his shortcomings right now.  I think there are still days he wishes he were back in country with his only responsibility being him and his Soldiers and not daily ever changing home life... hopefully SOON he will figure it out.

This year was the first time I have gotten to be part of her school... our old school liked your money but not really participation.  I volunteered to make the cupcakes (school I made dirt/worm cupcakes)  for Diva’s Halloween Party at school (and volunteer in the class for the games and my relay team beat the other teams (one of them being Hubby’s/Diva’s team, gloating a bit!), in addition we went Trick or Treating with some neighbors who are also in Diva’s school (double good mommy points this week!).  Last night I dress her up as a Vampiress (is that a word?!) for Trick or Treating... and again impressed myself with the makeup.  I got this mommy stuff down~ 

Hopefully Tuesday will be a good day... then I can blissfully head into Wednesday with smiles!