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Saturday, December 4

The Laundry MONSTER

Do you remember when you were younger and you could NEVER match up all of your socks?  Your mom would yell that money doesn’t grow on trees, there is no dryer monster and you could just go to school barefooted for all she cared?!  No?  So… maybe that was just my mom.  Regardless, even as a 30-something adult I am still convinced there is a dryer monster except now he isn’t limited to socks!  He shrinks my favorite Banana Republic sweater, makes whole outfits disappear and somehow makes Diva convinced that my thongs are really her underwear just shrunken.  Yes, I absolutely hate laundry.  I hate all that it stands for. 
I have even been stealing Big Daddy’s socks lately… I swear all of my black socks have grown legs and walked away.  Sometimes I find my socks with Diva’s which is really bizarre because I don’t wash our clothes together… EVER.  I mean heaven only knows what the stains and marks on her clothes are.  I have seen everything from food, to markers and paint… grass stains… and then the UNKNOWN stains.  So, I DO NOT want any of that intermingling with my clothes.  The frustration just mounts when she comes in and says “MOM, you forgot to wash my jeans!” stomping her foot.  Well dear sweet child, I forget to wash my hair and occasionally to put on a bra so excuse me that I forgot YOUR laundry.  Which, by the way, she changes 3 outfits and day JUST BECAUSE and swears they are all dirty. 

Today was the best example of all this… I did 5 loads of MY laundry yesterday, all still waiting to be put away but that’s a different story, and I still have 2 more.  Yes, I have A LOT of clothes.  I don’t wash pants with each wearing unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, so this is basically shirts, underwear and gym clothes.  In my focus I didn’t check Diva’s drawers to confirm her favorite jeans were in there.  So as I send her off to get dressed this morning I hear… MOM!  I have ZERO jeans.  I walk in and tell her that it’s really her problem because I didn’t know and she should monitor her OWN clothes.  She looks me dead in the eye, 1 hand on her hip and her head cocked up and says, “umm… mommy, I told you Sunday when I wore my last pair.” Oh, crap!  She did but I forgot so…. She wore her uniform pants and a random shirt.  She was NOT happy with my in the least.  She stomped around for 20 minutes… told me she looked stupid, ugly and that the pants were too big.  I thought I had YEARS before she had this much attitude.  GUESS NOT!

Have I mentioned that I HATE laundry!

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