Have you ever balanced on a ball? I feel like a 1000lb elephant trying to balance on a tennis ball on some days but on others I feel like the clown with TOO MANY balls in the air. I know it’s the Army Wife way but that doesn’t mean that I feel good about it all the time.
Its funny some days I don’t want to blog about happy stuff because I feel like I am always too cheerful… then others I don’t want to whine cause I feel like I am whining all the time. BALANCE.
Balance is a word that eludes me… well a concept really. I have never been balanced but Lord knows I have never been this UN-balanced. I have too many balls in the air and I know that eventually one is going to fall… so far so good but I can’t keep this up forever. I wish I could but that’s just not a realistic concept. My friends joke that I think I am Superwoman between the deployment, my job, Diva, gymnastics, kickboxing, volunteer work, 2 dogs… the house, buying a house…. And sleep. The sad thing is that even if Hubby were home I would be doing the same things with about the same amount of help. The difference is that I would have my best friend here to whine to and cry to.
I am frustrated with work… with Diva… with the Army… with my family and with people who, I swear, speak just to hear themselves but have nothing worth while to say. Don’t tell me how to handle my child if you have no children, or a deployed husband when you have either NEVER been married/in a serious relationship or NEVER been alone… certainly don’t tell me how to live my life.
My job is becoming increasingly frustrating. Right now, while he is deployed, I do not HAVE to work. Now that everything is paid off we make sufficient income so my salary is basically our house savings. This being said, it’s becoming MORE and MORE hard not to throw up 1 or 2 fingers and quit. I hate being taken advantage of and working with people that have ZERO motivation to learn their job and have some mental retention in order to allow me to have my promotion. Yep, PROMOTION… it’s being held up due to stupidity. CRAP!
Diva is doing things or has done things at school that I am JUST finding out about. Charging school lunch when she takes her lunch daily… one that SHE packs to ensure she likes what’s in there. She fessed up to stealing food from lunches (I knew about this as it happened during the summer program last year) and lunch money from a student (not sure when this happened). The punishments seem so much less severe than if it had been me and my mom punishing me. I put up a list of daily chores that must be done to earn back the money that I paid out in unneeded lunches in addition to losing all electronics (TV, Wii and DSi). She told me this teaches her nothing… so she will be pulling weeds at Grammie’s this weekend as a manual labor punishment. I just don’t know what to do with this child… I am at a total loss some days. My parents would have spanked us, grounded us and then… who knows what else!
I need a nap, a drink and a massage… in any order!