Thoughts...

I admit, fully, that I tend to keep those around me at arms length. There are very few people that I let... into the circle so to speak. I don’t like to open up to people, I choose not to. This is a cognoscente choice that I make, it is not accidental or sub consciencely is INTENTIONAL. In the past 10 years my friends have changed as has my life and as have I. I do not hold it against most people as I know that being me isn’t always easy to handle. I occasionally have panic attacks over simple things like going on base in San Diego or have significant insecure moments in my life… but this is me. I do not lie about who I am or what I can offer as a friend but I may choose to not let you in and leave you as an acquaintance. To call you my friend takes a lot, it takes a trust factor and reliability. There are few that I would consider friends and if I call you that, I mean it and it should be taken as such.

Deployment has been eye opening... thank you to those still here and thank you to those that chose to walk away.