So... I try to be super positive all the time and for the most part it's true. I am a pretty happy person and know that I have so much to live for and am super blessed. In my life I have lived through things that no one should have to and come out knowing there was a reason for it all. Well... with that being said this week has just sucked!
- I hate my stupid job with temps that don't actually work. I mean this girl wears whatever she wants (she has worn scrubs, she has worn flip flops, even walked around in just SOCKS... in a business casual environment) , she comes and goes as she pleases even though she was told her hours were 7:30 to 4 and on Friday she came in at 7:30 took an hour lunch and then left at 3:50. I am so irritated with her I could SCREAM. On top of it all she is trying to throw another temp under the bus for really no good reason but being all friendly to her face. I HATE PEOPLE LIKE THAT! Have a set and grow up! Why should I bust my butt to do a great job if you dont and no one seems to care.
- I have a huge event next weekend in Vegas that I want to be perfect and it's stressing me out. I am on the board of an organization that has an initiative called Project Gratitude. Project Gratitude is taking 8 families who have lost their hather/husband in the war, to the Miss America pageant in Las Vegas. I am in charge of gift bag.... I want them to be AMAZING! We aren't there yet... I know we will be but just not yet.
- On top of these two MAJOR things Diva is struggling in school, my grandma is needing help and there is no one that can/wants to help her... I feel the weight of the world on me.
So today I totally snapped! I yelled at BD via skype, crying (tears and snot!) and the whole nine about how much I hate this deployment, I hate the Army and I just basically... well hate everything around me. I wanted him to tell me it was ok... well thats not what heppened. Instead he got all pissy and defensive and then I got worse... oh and skype wasn't working at all so we were typing our frustrations.... GREAT. what an EFFING disaster.
We got past it all before we hung up... basically he felt like the changes that I made (ie. new puppy, haircut, new bedroom color and potentially new car) were going to equate with me not wanting HIM anymore. Sorry BD, you are stuck with me forever.... and possibly afterlife if you believe that much. I have waited far to long for a man to deal with my morning sneezes, my narcolepsy, my messyiness and my want to save the world to let you go... DEAL WITH IT!
Jeez... what is it about that stupid desert that makes him go crazy. GOOD GRIEF!
1 comment:
Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry! Apparently all of this (the stress and fighting) is "normal" for deployment. Normal or not it still sucks A!!! I know we'll all come out stronger but idk why it has to be so hard! And the stresses that we go through, when they are home we could normally turn to them for support but feel as though it's ours and ours alone to bare while they're gone. It sounds like you've got A LOT on your plate girl! Once this Vegas thing is over, hopefully things will ease up some. And the temp...I would steer clear as much as possible, you have enough going on than to worry about an irresponsible child who has ZERO work ethic. Good luck honey! I wish I was there to help with the Vegas thing!! It'll be so fun!
xoxo
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