Here or Not Here

While I was cleaning today.... yes 6 weeks from R&R and I am a cleaning MANIAC... I realized how many people were at his going away party that will not be invited to his homecoming. 
Since Big Daddy left our lives have changed a lot.  Diva has grown up so much, become more independent and full of attitude.  I have located my previous independence and conquered life without him here physically.  My friends... well, simply put have bailed.  Well that's not entirely true.  I have met new amazing people that accept my life as is, I do wonder what it will be like when he returns but that will be dealt with then.  I have a few friendships that have surprised me while he has been gone.  You know those people that you may have been acquaintances with that have turned into your best friends.  I have a few people that I considered friends that have just all sorts of bailed... If you can't be here when I need you then I surely don't want you when he gets home.
I may sound a bit harsh but really people... if you can't be friends when life is rough and I actually NEED my friends around then what use are you really?  I have gone through this filter several times in my life and this is just one more shining example of my poor taste in people.  (Yes, I have had poor relationship taste in the past too but lets not go there now).  I am totally ok with this...  Nope, that's a lie and if I lie in a blog that's anonymous then I am a huge moron. 

Here is the truth.  I am crushed by the people that have bailed mainly because they didn't have the balls to tell me.  They just stopped returning calls/texts/emails... etc.  Worst part for me is that when I called them on this they couldn't even muster up the courage to be honest.  I CAN'T STAND being lied to.  There is nothing in this world that irritates me more than liars.  Yes, I have cried over this and talked to BD at NAUSEA but I have to realize that people just suck.  haha.  OH WELL.

Thank you to the people that have stood by me, listened to me cry and told me it was going to be ok.  The people that are excited that we put an offer on a house and the people that I can call/text at all hours. I appreciate you more than you can ever know.  Thank you to the blogosphere for validating all of my deployment woes because most of you ladies are going through the same. 
CHEERS