NEEDED- Guest Bloggers

Hello~  I need a few more guest bloggers to cover hubby's R&R.  I would love to have people talk about their pre/post R&R feelings and thoughts, any suggestions/thoughts... and maybe anything you would change.

As MilSpouses all we have to understand is eachother and I LOVE knowing that I am not alone in some of my thoughts.

Please email me  militarywifeapparel@yahoo.com


Thanks!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair

I made the executive decision to get waxed before Hubby gets home... mainly because I don't want to deal with it while he is home.  I am too blonde and light skinned for laser, or so I am told... but really who's to say that my current grooming habits will still be the ones I want to embrace in say 10 or 15 years so waxing/shaving is what I will be doing. 
So I called a place to make an appointment and she isn't available so she suggested electrolisis... oh hell no.  Basically this is the OLD SCHOOL version of laser and is done by placing a needle into EACH hair follicle and killing it.  Thanks but no.
I went and spoke to the waxing girl at the salon and she gave me the Readers Digest version of waxing... let hair grow at least 2 weeks with NO trimming, she will tear hair out, smooth as a baby's butt for 10-15 days and your lady bits look like a bald mouse (sorry creepy visual but I am quoting here).  Sounds like a plan to me... yes painful but whatever saves razor bumps and stuff later.
Then came the pictures online... I have NEVER waxed anything except my eyebrows.  In the words of The Bachelor, they wax your UNDERCARRIAGE!  ARE YOU JOKING!  I have zero need for all that is not seen daylight to be waxed, really.  I dont' get it... WHY.  My appt is set for the day before Hubby gets home... oh another rule.  NO SEX for at least 24 hours after waxing.  Good grief, the shaving is starting to seem like a much better plan.

Here is a waxing joke I read a few years ago... its starting to ring more and more true to me.  ENJOY

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(Y A THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (Cold wax, "yeah... right!")

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With me next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to t he inside of my butt cheek.

(Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself... RRRRIIIPPP!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!!!!

Another deep breathe and RRIIPP!!

Everything is swirly and spotted.

I think I may pass out... must stay conscious...

Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.

I touch. I am touching wax.

CRAP!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, wh ich i s now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DANG!!!!!

I hear the slamming of a cell door.

"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!

I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- I sit.

Now, the only th ing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together a n d then glued to the bottom of the tub.. in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few moths ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter- "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YE AH!!!! RIGHT! !!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various sol ut ions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... the lotion the give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice t o my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!

So I recklessly sh ave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color.... Now thats funny...... Notttt

Seriously... Father Time SLOW DOWN

Got a call from hubby that he may be home a few DAYS before he initially planned.  NOPE!  The email string went something like this:
Hubby - Are you awake?
Me -  NOPE, sleep typing
Hubby - I may be home a few days early for R&R, is that ok?
Me - NOPE - sorry I have plans and a schedule
Hubby - Really? 

Haha... yes, I am brutally honest with hubby.  There is cleaning, organizing and waxing that needs to be done. If he comes home early there will be waxing that IS NOT completed, hair that is not blonded... and possibly a house that is a little less than clean.  Beside the fact I have a LONG awaited girls night scheduled... and a pageant to prepare for. 

Ok- sounds harsh maybe BUT I am a control freak, I have my life scheduled on my Blackberry and things need to adhere to said schedule if they are to work as I have carefully planned out.   Even a day earlier doesn't work with the schedule that I have planned... yes I know that my life as an Army wife is SURROUNDED by - ISH.  April -ISH, 12 month deployment - ISH .... You can see-ISH eachother on Skype... the mail system, well one BIG ISH!  So with that being said... I don't care I have a plan and damnit I want to stick to it.  haha.

I can't wait to have my moment wrapped in Hubby's arms, kissing his pillow lips after 9 months and feeling the head full of hair (he has bic'd his head 3 times a week since we met)... oh and did I mention he is INCREDIBLY hot with a six pack!  Yep... this is one HAPPY Army wife... IF I get my original plan and days.

Too bad I spent last  night dancing around my room Cameron Diaz (in Charlie's Angels) style instead of cleaning  OOPS!

Plus side - THANK YOU to Erika Lentz from http://www.lentzdesignstudios.com/ for this AMAZING T-Shirt quilt made out of hubby's shirts from his LAST deployment.  I got sick of seeing them, they are WAY too big for him now and I couldn't bare to put them in a box to save forever or throw away SO...

I AM BEING CHASED...

Running is just so amazing.  The feeling your ponytail bounce, the wind in your hair… a freedom of being out side and one with nature.  It’s surreal and freeing.  OK REALLY- CUT THE CRAP! 

I think running should be reserved for when you are being chased or see a really great shoe sale and nothing else.  I hate to run however I do it because I have 2 spastic dogs that need the energy release so 2-4 times a week I run 4 miles… I also do it because R&R is coming and I do not want any food in the bedroom (if it can go on a bagel it will NOT be on my thighs/butt, ie cottage cheese or jelly!).  So running I go… I loathe it and complain to the 2 non-listening dogs (who have tripped me more than once, I have the scars to prove it) about how much I hate it and think that they should pull me on rollerblades.  I can picture it now… a tall clumsy white girl being pulled down the street by a Shih Tzu and a Jack Russell mutt… ahh the site would be worth it I am sure.  Then the two idiots, sweet loving puppies would pull me into traffic and I would be LITERALLY rolling up to the airport to pick up the hubby in a wheelchair.  (Luckily for me I work for a company that provides them!)

This whole getting ready for R&R thing is starting to be comical… there is working out, cleaning, organizing and then comes WAXING… oh yes we will chat about that adventure tomorrow. 

The best part of it is this.. We clean the house, groom ourselves, do our hair... kill ourselves to be in a certain shape and buy a new outfit but all the hubby has to do is get on a plane!  Then 2-3 days later they get off, all stinky and in the same uniform they put on 2-3 days before, we swoon!  CRAP, I TELL YOU... unfair crap!  I will spend a minimum of 1.5 hours getting dressed that morning, then primp on my way to the airport (30 minute drive), apply about a POUND of chapstick and smelly good lotion before he gets off the plane.... Once we are in eachothers arms, NONE of it will matter.  It's all a joke

Stringy Haired hot man and Brutal Deployment honesty!

Yesterday we went to Medieval Times with Diva’s Daisy Troop… not necessarily my first choice for a bunch of 6 & 7 year old girls but ooook!  It’s what THEY wanted to do with their cookie money… so we smiled and watched 12 Princesses (with crown and sash) cheer on their Knight with the largest eyes ever.  We got the Blue Knight and I must say he was hot… well maybe it was because I haven’t seen a man in 9 months and his stringy greasy hair on top of a horse like a bad romance novel was just more than I could handle.  Anyhoo… after consuming food with my fingers (YUCK!  Totally against all charm school and etiquette classes I have taken), wiping 6 sets of fingers off with wetnaps we were ready to head home where I have a bunch of cleaning to do BEFORE Big Daddy gets home.  Must I point out that I hung about 7 pieces of clothing and called it a night.  I had some Real Housewives of the OC to watch, I admit it.    

I do SO love my Daisy days… those little girls are amazing and it’s really given me a chance to get to know other moms.  As a working mother I don’t often have the chance to meet moms as I don’t do play dates, I make it to school functions in time to see Diva and then hug her a leave… so unless your child is in our CDC program I probably don’t know you.  This is where Daisies came in – a way for me to meet other moms to make it through the deployment and I must be honest in saying I really only met one mom that I have seen outside of troop events.  Oh well, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them meet the other horses there!

I do have some things to get off my chest about R & R – I will preface this by saying that I do love my husband with every ounce of my body (that’s a lot of ounces!)

**I am just going to write this because it’s my blog and I will be brutally honest if I want to, what’s the point in being anything other on an anonymous blog.**

I am petrified, nervous, anxious, excited and …. Well PETRIFIED about R&R.  I am scared that we will have changed too much, I am worried that he and Diva will have issues, I am worried that he will be the “Disneyland Dad” letting her get away with everything for me to pick the pieces up when he heads back.  I am worried we won’t be as attracted to each other, or he will be yelling and screaming at the dogs or the kid or me the whole time…. Basically I am a STRESS BALL of nerves.  I know that my house is a mess because I figure he CAN’T come home till it’s clean so if I go slow then he wont come home as fast.  I love my  husband more than anything and have gotten through the past year of all of this knowing that we are together for a reason that will all the crap in my past he is my redemption and my way to right all my wrongs…. But with that said, I do NOT want R&R. 

Another thing, it’s a disruption.  He left and Diva wet the bed and her pants for MONTHS… MONTHS of extra clothes to school and water resistant mattress covers.  Months of explaining to the teacher that we just need some understanding and not diapers!  Months of the sad looks from other moms when they show up and my little one is crying because he is gone.  Months for the crying every night about Daddy dying at war to stop… we have been good and on our little way for the last 6 months or so and now he will come home for 15 days and send me back to square one again.  I don’t know if I have the mental wherewithal to do this again.  I hurt for my poor baby when she hurts… it’s a mom thing.  So I keep trying to remind her that daddy is just home on vacation and I keep trying to remind him that we have a routine that needs to be adhered to for survival as we still have MONTHS left after this leave.  Yes, I am a SUPER control freak… ADMITTEDLY.  It’s not a secret to ANYONE that knows me.  I have talked to my military wife friends and they say I am normal, WHAT NORMAL… if this is normal no wonder MilDoctors give away XANEX like candy!  AHHH…. Deployment.   I hated the civilian job schedule but I promise to the Almighty I will never whine about his Civilian job schedule again!    

But that one is more you... guy code for "I hate it!"

I love love love Fridays!  It's usually my Starbucks Skinny Latte Day... this morning was a running REALLY late because I stayed up till 1:30ish watching Greys Anatomy and Private Practice.  Then of course I have to do laundry this morning, MAXIMIZING time people!  haha.  Busy weekend with Daisy's, The Giving Project, and Midieval Times with our Troop.  In between all of this I need to get my butt in gear and finish my cleaning.

The closet floor is clear - except my shoes 

Last night I did trick hubby - funny!  His mom is making me a super cute outfit for an upcoming event so she came over last night to do the fitting.  She thought it would be super easy to try it all on me if I had a bodysuit on to hold the material in place better than my skin.  So she brought over a 1980's 1 piece!  HYSTERICAL!  We took a picture and sent it to hubby telling him I had decided against the hot bikini I just bought and decided that I should wear this instead. 

The ONE PIECE -

His response:
Ummm...What happened to that orange 2 piece.

To which I replied:
So you don't like my suit? Your mom lent it to me...
Then in true MAN fashion:

Baby,

Wow you still read into things.  I never said I didn't like the suit.  I just like the two piece a bit more.  Its more you baby. 

(his way of saying he hates  the one piece and likes the hot 2 piece better without ACTUALLY saying it.  LOVE HIM!)

SO FUNNY.  I went back and forth a few emails before I fessed up, it was worth the giggle.

Anyhoo...  It's Friday so we know that means MilSpouse Friday Fill In!!!

Only 1 or 2 more of these before R&R! I am counting Friday Fill ins!  Join up each Friday with Wifey at Wife of a Sailor and learn something new about your fellow MilSpouses!!!

1. What is your must have gadget? submitted by Flying High With My Flyboy

My Blackberry is the one thing I don’t leave home without… ever!  I take it to the bathroom, the bedroom, the gym and on my runs!  It’s the main line of communication with the Hubby.

2. How does your adulthood compare to what you imagined it would be like when you were a little kid? submitted by L to the Third

I thought my life would be full of travel and a bunch of money… instead its full of carpool and work BUT I have a lot more love in it than I had every anticipated.

3. What is your favorite chocolate recipe?  submitted by Our First Deployment

Recipe, I don’t need no stinkin recipe… I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATE however it comes!

4. How do you deal with military life when it gets to be too much or to hard? submitted by Combat Boots And Pointe Shoes

This has happened often during deployment… I have felt like it’s all too much and I/We just can’t anymore… that’s when I write.  Whether I blog, journal, email the hub and delete it…. I just write.  OR I reorganize/decorate a room.  Our bedroom is usually the starting spot!

5. What piece of advice would you give a new Military spouse facing their first deployment?  submitted by The Albrecht Squad

Be informed!  Know who to call for what, how to use your insurance and then find ways to relax.  Personally I tell women to avoid the news; there is no use in freaking out every time a bomb drops in country they are in.  Sadly, if something bad happens you will know.

I LOVE reading everyone’s answers… so many people are similar.

Thoughtful Thursday

Ahh Thursday… one of my favorite days of the week.  Not sure why but I LOVE Thursdays.  I am still working on cleaning our room… got to get used to saying OUR again.  For the past 9 months it has been MY room and MY house, not intentionally just happens since I am the one that is there.  The dog will not be happy when hubby gets home as she will be relegated to either Diva’s room or the laundry room depending.  The puppy is still potty training in his crate in the garage so he isn’t really an issue in the equation.  I am not happy that I have to work the first week that he is home BUT my choice is home for R&R or home for homecoming and I choose having a little more time at homecoming and possibly a small vaca with my love then. 

Tonight is a big meeting for one of the organizations I am part of, Got Your Back Network.  We are moving forward with several awesome events in Southern California and Michigan.  I am so excited to meet with our Posse (yes, interesting name but I didn’t choose it) to set up some events with the San Diego Padres, the USS Midway, our Martini’s & Makeover event PLUS a really neat event in Michigan!  I love being part of a group that has a main focus of helping the families of our fallen military.   Diva is actually going to be getting a community service award next year for her hard work this year giving back.  She is also doing a penny drive at her school to benefit families of our fallen… yep, proud mom!  She told me that every person can spare pennies to help kids that lost their daddies in war since he is a real hero. 

The days are just cheery from the inside… Lord knows the weather in So Cal SUCKS!

Worse before better... organizing the closet by utilizing my side of the bed

SAID nightmare closet

my Ikea dresser... busting at the seams

Screaming for 4 miles...

What a difference a day makes – Last night I went to Diva’s parent teacher conference (FINALLY some great news that the deployment isn’t totally screwing up our child!) and then on a nice 4 mile run with the dogs and the Diva.  There is nothing funnier in the world that a screaming 6 year old running. 

She begged to go with me; I tried to get her to understand how far that really was.  She saw me leaving her classroom and wanted to go home with me… my initial plan was to go running by myself and then come and get her BUT she didn’t like my plan apparently.  I realized she ran 4 miles for the jog a thon a few weeks ago so it wasn’t that big of an issue… until she got bored. 

Then the crying and screaming came (I mean seriously it was dramatic!)and I couldn’t help but laugh because it probably looked like I was chasing a screaming child down the street… but once we left there was no option other than to finish.  Luckily we ran into a friend of hers along the way so that helped for a few minutes.  Once we got home we hit the Jacuzzi and then to bed…. AHH.  I fell asleep by 9:30 and slept until 6 while Miss Diva went to bed at 7:45 she slept until 6:30 STRAIGHT through her alarm clock…. Maybe that’s the key for Friday nights, run her and she will sleep in on Saturdays!

I am trying to instill healthy living and my love of exercise with Diva…. And now that daddy is obsessive with exercise and living healthy its going to be a family affair.

A few weeks left… then R&R!  Oh love, how I have missed your arms.

You 'KNEW' it was possible...

This is the worst day of this deployment by far!  I am in a HORRIBLE mood… having been since last night.  I just sobbed after Big Love last night as the song, God Only Knows (what I’d do without you) played.  Yesterday there was a soldier on Hubby’s base that was killed and while it wasn’t in his unit the closeness made it real to me.  The realities of deployment are scary. 

Living every day doing everything for everyone has just simply exhausted me.  I am whining a bit I realize.  Yes, I knew what marrying a soldier meant… please don’t be condescending.  No one is prepared for a deployment no matter how much they ‘knew’ what they were getting into.   Worrying about your husband/wife daily… praying for the phone calls, emails or skype.  Going to bed praying that there won’t be a knock at your door.  Looking into the eyes of your child knowing you can’t promise them when their daddy will be home, knowing that they hurt so much and you can’t fix it.  Diva looked at me the other night with her HUGE brown eyes and asked me to promise her that daddy would be home soon and would always be safe, because mommy ‘has never broken a promise’…. I just hugged her and told her that he was doing everything he could to be home as soon as he could.  She told me that someone told her that Soldiers get killed by bad people and she didn’t want her daddy to get killed.  SERIOUSLY, my heart just broke. 

Then on top of it all I am just tired of being EVERYTHING to everyone…. I just want someone to hug me and let me crumble, just ONCE. Diva has been trying more and more lately… she is just as stubborn as we are so there have been many a nights of frustration for both of us.  We have been at this for almost a year now and I am tired… physically exhausted, tired of deployment, tired of being asked WHEN he is coming home.  Then getting the pity when I tell them he will be home for only 2 weeks… “Oh not for good?”  FOR GOOD… haha, that’s funny!  There is nothing for good in the military… FOR NOW is more like it. 

This deployment can just be over now… thank you very much.  I did joke with hubby that he better not VOLUNTEER for any of the new ‘hot spots’ … he just giggled.  HMM. If I didn’t madly love this man!  Haha

I am incredibly thankful to the people that have been there for me… please don’t take any of this personally.  There are 4 women in my life that have been my ground.  That I know I can call and talk to at any point and whether or not they understand the military or what I am really feeling they are just there for me…. Last night I was texting one and she called at like 11 to just be there, listen and offer her advice and friendship.  Another one that calls just to say, HI and see how I am… then my military wife friends that crack me up because they get it and we can joke in a weird way about not missing cleaning up the bathroom floor but still missing it because he is there.  I said weird.

Almost to R&R…. my chant.  haha

Trenchcoat, commando... what to wear to pick him up!

Last night I picked out my pick- him- up- from- the- airport look… All I say is that it BETTER be warm!  No, I am not going commando under a trench coat (I don't think removing an outfit will take him any longer than a trenchcoat anyhow, besides we have to pick Diva up from school and a trenchcoat may be a giveaway!)… especially because you have to remove said coat going through security and although the FUN little body scanner should negate the need to do any of it I still don't want to take the chance as getting arrested for indecent exposure is not the way I want to remember the day.  I wont get started on how violated I feel going through there… no one cares and apparently my violation states that I would rather get blown up which is not the case either.  I just don’t see how showing some creepy TSA kid with ZERO credentials and a camera phone "scanning" my goodies helps keeps people safe.  If I had a weapon the metal detector would show that.  This last time I got body scanned and then felt up… THANKS TSA!

In 2 weeks-ish hubby will be home for R&R.  I thought that by this point, 9 months, the house would be tidy and in it’s final decorative state.  Umm…. No chance.  The office is really the only room that I would consider tidy but not FULLY decorated… Diva’s room is a close second, then basically downhill from there.  I did find a nice cleaning lady that will be doing the major scrubbing Monday before he comes home but everything else is my responsibility.  So tonight it is back to my OUR room … need to finish removing all of his BEFORE deployment clothes to make room for the stuff that will fit him now.  I find cleaning boring and exhausting, haha.  I do have some really pretty art to put up in our room so that will be exciting.  The man better LOVE our place, not that he has spent really ANY time there but hey it’s our home.

STUPID NIGHTMARE!

Ok- I know we have ALL done this

You have some sort of dream/nightmare that your significant other did something bad and you wake up and smack him.  He is usually sleeping and has zero idea what he did but you are just in NEED of said smack.

Last night I had a HORRIBLE nightmare than hubby did something horrid... this morning I woke up to playfully smack him and realized he wasn't here.  I was instantly sad... then just pissed that I would even have that dream before R&R.  Now he is on missions and I can't hear him say I love you and remind me this will all soon be over and our life will be normal again.  I have been blessed to find him and have such a wonderful marriage and connection.  I know that this stupid dream is just because its been so long and I am anxious and mildly insecure over the whole coming home thing.  

I sent him an email and virtual slap.... should be sufficient!  Now do go and run, do squats, situps... something.  haha

I didnt BEEP

I went to Kohls last week to buy hubby new clothes… thank you to his amazing weightloss he gets WHOLE new wardrobe! 

*Sidenote - I love when it says I saved $384 and spent $210!  I don't care that it's a consumer trick, it works for me! *

While I was there I picked up a few things for me too… one being this SUPER cute sweater for $6 (minus my 30% coupon!)  I took it to my girl’s weekend but didn’t get to wear it so today, Free Dress Friday, I got to wear it (Along with my Red Shirt supporting our deployed troops!).  It’s long enough to cover my jeans so there is no tattoo/crack showing when I sit down.  This morning at Diva and my donuts and Starbucks morning we ran into one of her CDC teachers… who commented on how cute my new sweater was.  As I was thanking her she noticed the most HORRIBLE thing about my new sweater

The WONDERFUL 16 year old Gay checker (I point this out only because he was giving me GREAT fashion advice for hubby, I mean honestly I haven't shopped for that man since last year so I have no clue whats stylish.  Anyhow in all the talking and advice he should have noticed this little thing!) completely missed removing this little item.  Best part is that it didn’t even go off as I left the store… I am paranoid because this happens all the time there so I am very cognoscente of the alarms at this store.  Most places I just keep walking if the alarm goes off… maybe not the best idea but it’s totally just life in most places. 

The best part of it all is that I have to wear this all day with that tucked into the pocket of my jeans because of the aforementioned cover of my tat/crack!  DAMN KOHLS!

MilSpouse Friday Fill In

1. What are some  of your ideas for staying connected with family…you know, those people we moved thousands of miles away from? submitted by Live it. Love it (or not). Write About It.

I talk to my sisters every day (little one on my way to work, older one I text throughout the day), my mom 3 or 4 times a week and for everyone else… Facebook!

2. What’s the most romantic gift you have GIVEN? submitted by Painting My Canvas

Given?  I had his wedding ring engraved on the inside as a surprise... umm... Oh, I got it.  Our first married Christmas I had his favorite picture from our engagement session printed and framed for him.

3. Would you encourage your child, if they came to you and wanted to join the military?  submitted by Perfectly Imperfect

I will encourage our children to follow their dreams, if that means the military so be it.  I will, though, confirm it’s for the right reasons.

4. What is your least favorite bill to pay and why? submitted by A Little of This, A Little of That

I HATE paying my cell phone bill because, while it’s a requirement while hubby is deployed, it’s so FREAKING expensive!

5. What is the proudest moment you’ve had as a military spouse?  submitted by Our Okinawa Life

Every moment I am with him is a proud moment… I think the Farewell Dinner would be the most recent.  He was in ACU’s dancing with our daughter around the dance floor and doing the chicken dance. 

Only 2 or 3 more of these before R&R! Ahh how truly exciting my life has become... I am counting Friday Fill ins!  Join up each Friday with Wifey at Wife of a Sailor

Opossum, Owl, bat... wife of a deployed soldier

If you had to name nocturnal animals what would come to mind?  Opossums, Owls... bats?  DEPLOYED ARMY WIFE should be on that list... well wife (I also mean, fiance and girlfriends of course!)  of a deployed anything!

Sleep has not been my friend or cohort since hubby deployed.  He used to joke that I was narcoleptic because I would fall asleep in the middle of a sentence at 8pm most nights.  Since he left, I am lucky if I can muster 4 hours of sleep in a night!  I wish I could tell you why but I think mainly it’s the brain that won’t stop!  I stay up and watch TMZ, Bikini Beach, Infomercials… you name it and I watch it.  FINALLY I will feel sleepy and head to bed where I immediately am wide awake and lay there forever.  I hear every noise, my upstairs neighbors are having potato sack races down their hall and bowl in their bedroom I think.

I started drinking tea before bed every night; I thought a nice cup of green tea would warm me up and make me sleepy.  Little did I know that green tea has 26mg or more of caffeine (1oz of Espresso has 50mg, Coke has 35mg)!  Part of my insomnia, haha… oops!  Back to my Sleepytime Tea.  Plus side is that I get a lot done in my nocturnal time!

I am not sure if my darling hubby believes my insomnia any more than I believe his roommate when he says my husband gets up WITH the alarm. 

*Oh yes the alarm… its odd what you missed when hubby’s deployed.  My dear sweet other half has slept through the alarm going off every 7 minutes for HOURS when he is home.  Oh yes, it’s set for noon and I get home at 4:30 to a sleeping husband and an alarm going off… YES MY NEIGHBORS LOVE US! 

I am looking forward to NOT sleeping on R&R though… yes to be honest I am planning on sleeping at least 8 hours a night for the week leading up to that magical time so we can stay up and talk… hee hee.  Yep, talk and catch up for 15 days.  Then go right back to NOT sleeping for the remainder of deployment… which isn’t that long.  Sadly we waited 9 months for R&R then only have about 2.5 months after for homecoming.  YAY.

Back to sleeping on my desk.

R&R = Aniety ?

Anxiety is something I haven’t felt for a very very long time but good grief… with R&R right around the corner I feel like I may just crawl out of my skin!  I have so many fears about how it will be.  Will hubby and I get along, will he and Diva mesh well or is he going to be yelling at her the whole time because she tends to be a little stubborn and talk back.  Will he still find me attractive, is the house going to be clean enough…. AHHH.  So many things rushing through my head. 

Hubby and I have been looking to buy a house, one of the pro's of deployment is saving money and paying things off.  Yesterday on IM we were talking about a house I found… an actual house house with a HUGE backyard and everything, in our district.  He looked at pictures and thought it looked like his Grandma's... ok it's a 1955 Ranch Style house with a 6000SF backyard!  He isn’t completely sold on it mainly because he isn’t here.  That’s when all of the pressure of all this came crashing down and I just sat here and cried!  No sobbing or noise just uncontrollable tears.  I feel the weight of the world on me… I am raising the child, keeping the husband involved as much as he wants to be (TONS),  keeping the husband SANE and taking everything on me so he stays focused on his safety, acting as the family liaison making sure that everyone in his family knows whats going on, defending my decision to marry a soldier to my family… in addition to my full time job, community responsibilities, Diva’s extra curricular activities and preparing for R&R after 9 months! 

Our current lease is up 45 days after homecoming, which means a decision on staying or going needs to be made BEFORE he gets home so I can make the proper arrangements if we are moving.  Diva has been struggling at school which I feel responsible for… not that I really think there is much more I could be doing to help as she is TOTALLY preoccupied by her daddy being at war (YES, crazy thought but her school doesn’t seem to get it).  I just got a promotion at work, I am so excited as it will allow more freedom with my hours and possibly allow me to pull her out of after school care and spend more time with her by the time school starts next year…. Oh and my furbaby is sick!  My 6 year old shih tzu needs a vet visit because her skin changed colors, her gums are all swollen and yucky AND her liver panel was elevated…. She was my first baby so I have been a little bit A LOT worried about her.  She has been sleeping with me while the puppy has been sleeping in his crate!

Just a little bit going on that only a military wife seems to understand!  I am so sick of hearing that I knew what I was getting into.  NOPE  you do not understand a deployment until you live through it, you do not KNOW what it's all about until you stand there 6 months after seeing your husband and worrying every day whether or not he will make it home.  No, I did not picture my life this way... living a daily marriage without my husband while being a geographically single mother.  I would never change a moment of marrying my soldier or having Diva.  I love them both with every breath but it's not what I planned.  I am not a tag chaser, I am not a barracks rat nor have I ever been.  I fell in love with a man who HAPPENED to be a Soldier instead of the other way around.  Enough said!

Did you have anxiety over R&R or Homecoming?  How did you deal?

Forever can never be long enough for me

First I must say I LOVE the song Waka Waka by Shakira from the World Cup… makes me dance in my seat!

Last night was amazing… Our little Diva had her big celebration of her anniversary of her adoption.  When I picked her up I heard her talking about her adoption.  This was the first time in 3 years I have ever heard my baby talk about this.  I was so proud of her and saw her immense pride in talking about her mommy picked her, she was that special that her mommy picked her.  I did voice my concerns with her teachers about just listening to what others were saying.  I never want her to lose this pride.  I am so lucky to have my little angel… it was a long road but worth every bump!
After we went and looked at a house we put an offer on.. yes a HOUSE!  I wanted to see the neighborhood after dark.  I still LOVE it.  We got home and Diva went to bed and I curled up with the pups on the couch for some TV.
I am a HUGE Bachelor fan... I will admit it.  I am a hopeless romantic and want everyone to be loved and in love.  I see how happy I finally am with an amazing man and child and want that for every person possible, everyone deserves to have that.  Last night was the finale and the Bachelor (SUPER SMART MAN!) chose the girl I liked... a single mom who had lost her previous fiancé in a plane crash.  I must say that the proposal was so incredibly sweet... he cried and she was beaming.   Then as they closed the show they played the song “Marry Me” by Train.  I LOVE this song and Hubby and I sing it to eachother all the time via email, IM and skype.  I started to just cry missing my other half… only a few weeks until R&R.
Then I watched the After the Final Rose… Ummm.  Please don’t refer to your relationship as VOLATILE in the first 6 months there is a problem.  I have been in a volatile relationship and it didn’t turn out very well for me… would NEVER go there again especially with a child, which the ‘winner’ has.  This comment does not give me ANY hope in their relationship but weirder things have happened I suppose!

Do you watch the Bachelor?  Do you like the new Bachelorette choice?

Tears and Ice Cream!

HOLY COW this was a great weekend!  Went to Nevada and saw Reba McIntyre in concert with my mom and sister… we do this every 5 years!  We left our daughters, ages 6, 7 & 9 with my 90+ year old Grandparents.  They had a great time!  I realized that I am the cheapest drunk EVER… less than 2 drinks and I was ready to pass out.  I haven’t drank in years so it was no big surprise.  650 miles of driving in 2 days and being home was great.  Thank you Daylight Savings Time….

I forgot to change my stupid alarm clock for Daylight Savings~ EVERY other clock is changed but not the stupid one that matters so I woke up an hour late and only because my sister called or I would have been WAY later.  .  Diva and I got up, showered and out of the house in 26 minutes… I am truly impressed with us.  Then of course, MURPHY’s LAW… I needed GAS and BLEW my diet on chocolate donuts!  All in all I was only 20 minutes late to work this morning

Today is a HUGE day in our family… with or without Daddy here it’s a huge day.  On this day 3 years ago we finalized the adoption on Diva.  We became an official family of 3!  She talked to her daddy last night on Skype (his morning) so that he could wish her a Happy Day and tell her what her big surprise that he planned.  Tonight we will be going to Johnny Rockets to have hamburgers and floats then a ride on the carousel to celebrate.  I know that he wishes he could be but with him planning it he feels more involved.   As we got to her daycare this morning she announced to her teacher that it was HER special adoption day!  She is so excited and proud.  She celebrates so many dates… Our Wedding Anniversary, her GOTCHA Day, her Adoption Day and her Birthday!  

When the decision of adoption came about, it was after my past life and in a place that I had every intention of single parenting a child.  I met Diva and knew on day 1 that she was my daughter and did everything in my power to make it so.  She was 2 ½ when I picked her up from her foster family and headed home, to our home.  With every bag she declared, “MINE”.  We got everything in the car and off we went.  At home she met my mom, her Grandma and Shiloh (my moms yellow lab), Grandma Shiloh’s name was made (yep, named after a dog).  Over the next 15 months Hubby and I became a couple, got engaged and the three of us were married.  What whirlwind we all went through and came out of it a perfect family.  Hubby is ¼ Asian, I am SUPER white and Diva… well in true Diva fashion she is half Latina so people often question if I am mom, aunt or nanny. HA.

On her Adoption Day, Diva had 3 Grandmas there, her Grandpa (hubby’s dad who is also adopted), and her Great Grandma (my Grandma - adopted) with her boyfriend (foster child that aged out), along with agency workers that we got very close to during the process.  It truly was an amazing day full of tears and ice cream!  We are truly blessed to have her in our lives. 

We are in the process of looking for a house right now and with every place we look at she picks out her BROTHERS room, tells everyone we are adopting a boy baby… and it can only be a boy baby and only through adoption as she wants him like her.  

Happy Day my little one!  Just like that day 3 years ago… my morning started with TEARS of joy and will end with ICE CREAM.

MilSpouse Friday Fill in!

This deployment is FINALLY speeding up. I only have a few more MilSpouse Friday Fill-In before R&R. Yikes!!
Join in the Fill-In fun with Wife of a Sailor


1. During military separations (whether short or long) how do you keep yourself positive and motivated? submitted by Married/Single Parent
I make sure to work out and I always have a project to complete within the timeframe that he is gone.  I must admit the longer the deployment the less motivated I get… it’s this hurried feeling to start and then a lull (serious LAZINESS) then the frantic chaos of homecoming!

2. What is your favorite concert you have ever been to? submitted by Young but Not (Completely) Dumb
Josh Groban in Santa Barbara in 2010 – Hubby and his mom have always LOVED Groban and I have acquired that liking so mom in law and I went up there for this concert.  It was a 1200 person theatre and he took audience requests!   

3. What do you miss most about your “hometown”?  submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier
I don’t have a hometown… my family has always been very nomadic BUT I miss NOTHING about the town I graduated high school in.

4. If you could run in any race, which charity would you choose to support? submitted by Wookie & Co.
Got Your Back Network, it provides assistance for families of our fallen service members – There are actually 2 runs coming up in Denver and Anapolis!

5. You find out Willy Wonka is your father, what 3 course meal do you INSIST he create in that stick of gum?  submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
Appetizer: Spinach and Artichoke Dip
Main: Filet Mignon with lobster mashed potatoes and asparagus

Dessert: Crème Brulee

Laundry Monster!

What a day!  Hubby is in extreme R&R countdown mode, I am in extreme clean freak mode… Diva is just in extreme mode.  Last night was the meltdown over putting away HER clean laundry.  So instead of listening to the screaming all night I let her go to bed and do it tonight.  It WILL be done before she goes to bed tonight though.  She gets mad when she can’t find her clothes, she hates putting them away and I refuse to do it any longer.  Currently there are 2 loads of munchkin Diva laundry and uniforms ALL OVER her floor!

There are days I feel like she is growing up too quickly because daddy is deployed and mommy needs help around the house.  I talk to other moms whose kids have no responsibility at all and I wonder if I am putting too much on her.  She is responsible for HER room, feeding the cat and fish and her homework.  When I was her age I was responsible to get myself home, yes I was a latchkey kid at 6, starting my homework, washing/drying and folding towels, putting away my clothes, keeping my room clean and my dog so I don’t see anything wrong with Diva’s jobs.  Sadly since she is the only kid she knows that has responsibilities she reminds me all the time that I am evil… haha. 

Yesterday I felt like I ran all day… sitting down last night felt SO good.  We had a ‘Morning with Mommy’ at her school, then I headed to work… after work is my most loved workout, KICK BOXING, then Conference Call, Girl Scout cookie booth sale… home for homework and dinner.  It was pretty funny actually… she didn’t invite me to the Mommy thing and it hurt my feelings, so when I asked she said she didn’t think I would be able to go because of work so she asked another Mom to take her.  I cleared my morning to go with her, she is more important than work afterall… we get there and SHE DITCHED ME.  HAHA.  She went to hang out with her friends and I talked to another mom the whole time… it was hysterical!

Glad to be at work today… it’s quieter with less stress than home.  Haha

ENJOY!

LVN2BWELL - St Louis Event

I am a board member for the Got Your Back Network, an organization that assists families of fallen service members.  I wanted to let you all know about this upcoming event that will act as a fundraiser for our organization. 

The LVN2BWELL event in St. Louis combines two of founder Dr. Andy Baldwin's passions; GYBN and health & wellness. The event starts with a kick-off on March 26th and runs for a week. You can learn more at LVN2BWELL.  GYBN charity will benefit from funds raised at the kick-off.  We are inviting widows of fallen soldiers to the kick-off.

Please contact me or Got Your Back with any questions or if you would like to volunteer your time.

It's my SPARKLING personality!

I have been struggling with our house the last few months.  When he first left I kept it inspection worthy for a few months’ weeks, then slowly it started getting cluttered and then I would tidy.  That cycle continued for a bit, then the tidying would get father and farther apart until it became a disorganized disaster!  I am not dirty by any means… just messy and cluttered.  I cleaned the garage out in January so we could park in there, then planned to start on other rooms to get us going… well that never happened.  Last night I posted my intent to clean my office on Facebook.  No sooner did I hit submit I got a text from a friend that she would come help/keep me company while I cleaned.  I hesitated for a minute as I wasn’t sure if I was really ready to tackle this room.  Reluctantly I said OK, and plans were set.  An hour later she showed up with her peppy demeanor and off we went.  Less than 2 hours later I had 2 tubs of trash, piles of specific items and a stack of stuff to go through… and a list of ‘chores’ to complete before she comes back Thursday. 

I did not know she was such an anal organizational genius!  THANK GOODNESS for people like that in my life.  I will have an office by week’s end, one that is actually functional and inspection worthy.  Next week will be our bedroom, boxing up his clothes thus making room for my weekend shopping spree at Kohls (thank you for the 30% off coupon!)  I am even more excited because this gives me a chance to dress him like I would like him to dress instead of every shirt saying something in Arabic or about OIF, IRF or being an MP (actually those are all now a t-shirt quilt for him to remember but not wear!).  So all in all this is a good thing … spring cleaning of sorts.

Speaking of new… I have started a new business thank you to Girl ExtraOrdinaire for their amazing clothes and this opportunity!

As a princess and Army Wife… with a mini Diva I love sparkles!  Rhinestones and glitter are our best friends.  With that being said I have looked high and low for military wife apparel that is sparkly.  I have tried Zazzle and Cafepress and have not been impressed with ANYTHING acquired by either company.  So with that being said I started my own company, Military Princess Apparel, to satisfy the need of the sparkly military wife or child… or mom, aunt, sister… you name it.  I will happily accept custom orders or you can order the standard: ~Branch~ wife/fiance/princess.  I have them in T’s and Tanks or Hoodies!  I will post some pictures tomorrow of what I currently have as a sample.

You can contact me on Facebook or email MilitaryWifeApparel@yahoo.com

Fat Tuesday!

I have never been to Mardi Gras but HAPPY FAT TUESDAY!

Ok- so I am not consistant in these but its my blog and there are days I want to write about something else.... sorry!

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life

There are a lot of things that I hope to do in life.  What’s funny is that every time I try to list something that I hope to do I get mad at my self because I WILL do it.  So I guess everything I hope to do turn out to be things that I will do.

I will publish 2 books

I will have another child – a little boy

I will visit all of the countries on my bucket list

I will live my happily ever after

I hope will to get through the next few months of this deployment with my sanity.  I hope that the time flies for Big Daddy and me during this time! 

With just a few weeks before R&R the anxiety and excitement are building.  Every conversation with him is about the airport moment, the first kiss…the first touch.  He hasn’t really lived in our place since we moved in so it should make for an interesting trip.  Diva has decided that she and daddy are going to do a fun date day, just the two of them while mommy goes to the spa.  Yes, the little one gets it… or she just wants her time.  Either way, this mommy is happy to oblige!

Here's to a great Tuesday!